1. Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
2. In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people… the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing
3. May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I’m not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.
4. Well, I don’t really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It’s like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how – what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what’s stopping it, and what’s behind what’s stopping it? So, what’s the end, you know, is my question to you.
5. As long as there’s, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.
6. I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
7. Well, I’m sure I’d feel much worse if I weren’t under such heavy sedation.
8. It’s like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
9. These go to eleven.
10. The review for “Shark Sandwich” was merely a two word review which simply read “Shit Sandwich”.
11. We’re very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they’re like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They’re two distinct types of visionaries, it’s like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.
12. “This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.”
13. We’ve got Armadillos in our trousers. It’s really quite frightening.
14. Remember at Luton Palace we were talking about writing a rock musical based on the life of Jack the Ripper.
15. That’s not to say I haven’t had my visionary moments. I’ve taken acid seventy… five, seventy-six times.
16. I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.
17. Given the history of Spinal Tap drummers, uh, in the past, do you have any fears, uh, for your life?
18. Yeah, listen, we’d love to stand around and chat, but we’ve gotta… sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo.
19. Well, this piece is called “Lick My Love Pump”.
20. Here lies David St. Hubbins… and why not?
21. “This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, ‘What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn’t he have rested on that day too?’”
22. You can’t really dust for vomit.
23. The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and…
24. But you’re not as confused as him are you. I mean, it’s not your job to be as confused as Nigel.