I could never love her in the wild, but I’ll remember those days rolling in the fields, hidden to the rest of the world- our coven of peace, quiet and trust. I’ll remember when she first gazed at me with an impenetrable an innocent curiosity. I’ll remember her ease with which she accepted me into her world, but more so accepted my world- a world so harshly real it’s unreal to fathom let alone understand. I’ll remember our time in the sun. I’ll remember her humble heart and her natural grace. I’ll remember the sparks we created, and all of our motions an emotions as a lush, wondrous watercolor upon my mind’s wall. I’ll remember her like a tranquil yet short-lived dream, but I’ll never forget her memory- a place of sanctuary to revisit but never to witness again.
I won’t remember her as she weeps by the cannon, clinging to invisible blades of grass. I won’t remember her by her exile, her hardships, her struggle. I won’t remember her as she trades shades of beige and bare skin for stark corsets and heavy boots. I won’t remember her as she seeks refuge in the shade of another man’s tree. I won’t remember her as a changed woman in a gilded cage.
But I’ll remember our kiss, forged with lips which instantly conceived something divine. I’ll remember her as my queen and pray that she still dreams of me as her king. I’ll remember our shared obliviousness to the harshness of the outside world, and our own silent building of cathedrals of childish wonder.
May she always shine. May she not be tamed. May she never walk blind in desire. May she never again feel the wounds of betrayal like the ones I inflicted upon her. May she one day forgive me for believing that stubborn hearts can’t stay in paradise forever. And most of all, may she stay free, and continue living the life where her heart beats softly and strongly. And may she not regret the sour memory of my arrival upon her shores.
Love,
The Divided Man