R.I.P. – Rest in Park
The Cut: Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, allegedly took their dead friend for a night out on the town. After noticing that Jeffrey Jarrett, 43, appeared a little out of it, the two took off with his wallet and racked up nearly $300 in tabs for the night. A medical examiner found Jarrett dead from “alcohol, cocaine and prescription drug intoxication.” 1
The Stab: It’s said you’re only as good as the company you keep, which begs the question, Was Jarrett already dead? I know you’re not supposed to talk ill of the deceased, but it seems that would be better treatment than what he already received.
The Story
Sources: 1Huffington Post
Cheers Up
The Cut: A non-double-blind study showed a 31% decrease in heart disease in those who drank a moderate consumption of beer.1 However, there are arguments against the study as not wholly based on the consumption of beer and that other factors, such as educational attainment and social class contribute to beer consumption.
The Stab: Studies have also shown that people without health complications tend to have less health complications than those who have health complications. There’s also research that shows heavy consumption of beer leads to stomach cleansing.
The Story
Sources: 1Huffington Post
******* Censorship
The Cut: Pakistan’s government has taken a step toward censoring its citizens’ texts. According to a Yahoo! News story, the Pakistan Telecommunications Authority (PTA) has ordered “cell phone companies to block text messages containing… obscenities…”.1 Words the PTA deems as obscene include “condom,” “period,” “intercourse,” “breast,” “flatulence,” “wuutang,” “Jesus Christ,” “headlights”1 and “monkey crotch.” 2
The Stab: Tariq: Hey, Hassan, I’m struggling with this w***** ******.
Hassan: You’re what?
Tariq: I said, I’m struggling with this English course. Wish I would have taken the summer one. I feel like a deer in the **********.
Hassan: What do you mean?
Tariq: Well, it’s hard to stay a****** of everything that’s happening in that class.
Hassan: Yeah, it’s tough. At least you know when to use a ******.
Tariq: Is that a p e r i o d or c o n d o m?
Hassan: Depends on whether I’m in the English class or a ****** ******.
The Story
Sources:1Yahoo! News, 2UPI
1080pETA
The Cut: PETA has taken aim at one of the world’s most beloved Italian plumbers – Mario. The group says that in releasing a spoof of the game, it can bring attention to the act of skinning raccoon dogs and wearing fur. The group has said that they don’t believe Mario actually endorses the skinning of raccoon dogs, but has instead used the game to help the cause. According to the article, PETA also offered Turkey, Texas 500 feasts if it changed their name to Tofurkey for the holiday.1
The Stab: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has done a wonderful thing here by spoofing the video game. I can’t wait until it creates a real life version of raccoon dogs chasing after their bloody skins after Nintendo licenses raccoon dog Mario suits for Halloween.
The Story
Sources: 1Yahoo! News