I managed to miss the first two episodes of Bachelor Pad. Episode 3 caught me up on what’s happening: Vienna is fighting with her current boyfriend Kasey about the presence of her ex, Jake; people are strategizing about who they need to get rid of; and there’s a water ballet.
This has got to be one of the worst “reality” shows ever. It appeals to the worst in everyone.
Who wants to see Vienna whining and whimpering endlessly about how she can’t stand having her ex, Jake, in the house? I don’t care if she has a new nose; this is boring and annoying. Anyway, I was done with Vienna long before she ended up with Jake on The Bachelor.
Then there’s Michelle, back from Brad’s season. She’s the nice, sane one now. How did that happen? How did Michelle go from totally horrible conniving, manipulating witch to Ms. Maturity in just a few short months? I’m amazed.
Maybe it’s because she seems secure with this guy Graham. She’s just the most peaceful, contented, even modest woman on the show.
In a bizarre grab for viewers’ attention (one of many), this episode of Bachelor Pad features a water ballet competition between girls and guys. The big moment comes when the guys come out in normal swim attire, then are instructed by Chris Harrison to get into their regulation swimsuits. So they all strip down to teeny weenie bikinis. Woohoo. “That makes my day,” one of the girls says lustfully.
Later another one says that if she were voting for the best male swimmer, she’d pick Jake-because he has such a big “package.” Lovely. Your mother must be proud of you.
The guys for some reason do better than the girls in their synchronized swim, though the girls look cute in flowered bathing caps of various hues. (Whatever happened to bathing caps? They used to be required in all swimming pools. Maybe these cute ones will bring them back into fashion.)
In the voice overs, both Jake and Vienna are sure they will win the swimming challenge-because he has been working so hard on it, and because she knows she’s the best-but neither Jake nor Vienna wins. The judges, Natalie and David from last season, plus a professional swimmer, choose Michael and Michelle. Again Michelle is astonishingly ladylike when she gets this news.
Toward the end of this Bachelor Pad episode we see Jake and Melissa “strategizing,” or something, on a bed, alone. She’s wearing a very cute strapless print dress, but what we can’t help noticing are her cherry red panties as the camera shoots from the end of the bed.
Modestly she pulls her dress down, but a minute later the red panties are on display again, as Jake tells her who they need to vote off, while stroking her thigh.
Call me a prude, but this is nothing more than cheap, titillating trash! And kids are up in my time zone, when Bachelor Pad is on. With its blatant sexiness, emotional excesses, and focus on gossip and backbiting, Bachelor Pad is a bottom-dwellers’ feast.