Your daughter is getting married, and you are the mother of the bride. Being the mother of the bride carries with it certain responsibilities, as well as certain customary duties. If you haven’t had a daughter get married before, then this role may be completely new for you. But even if you’ve been through this before, you may need a refresher as to just what the responsibilities of the mother of the bride are, as well as what role you should be taking in each part of the wedding.
Responsibilities
The biggest responsibility of the mother of the bride is to help with the busy work of not only planning the wedding, but making sure everything takes place as it should. Even the small things, like tallying the guest cards and helping to get invitations and programs ready for the big day, are a big help for the bride and a big weight off her shoulders.
You should also be the sounding board for both the bride and the groom if he is comfortable coming to you, when the stresses of planning a wedding become too much. Be there for support and guidance wherever it is necessary, and help with everything you possibly can to make things easier on the bride and groom.
However, a bit of caution for you – even though you are helping to plan most of the wedding and will be helping with the small details, this is still your daughter’s big day, so don’t take control of planning the whole event and leave her out of it.
Etiquette
The mother of the bride sometimes plays advocate for the bride and groom when it comes to wedding planning and decisions. If someone is trying to make decisions about the wedding, or is putting their two cents in a little too strongly, it is oftentimes the mother of the bride that steps in. And usually, it is the mother of the bride who picks her attire first, and then lets the mother of the groom know so that the two of them don’t clash at all at the wedding ceremony.
When it comes to paying for the wedding, traditionally it was the bride’s family that paid for the wedding, and the groom’s family that paid for the rehearsal dinner. However, those roles have changed a bit with modern times, and sometimes the budget can be shared equally, or split however seems appropriate based on what each family has available to contribute. A discussion for both families (minus the bride and groom) should take place face to face, if possible, to discuss the money situation and how it will be handled. This should be taken care of as soon as possible so that there is a budget in place when the wedding planning actually begins.
The Big Day
Make sure you are there whenever your daughter or her new husband need something, whether it just be a question about the program schedule or a few minutes in a quiet place to take a break from the hustle and bustle. As busy as the bride and groom will be, you will be even busier as the mother of the bride making sure everything happens as it should. Being the mother of the bride is something to be cherished and remembered forever, and there’s no doubt that you will remember every detail of this exciting day in your daughter’s life.