Irrelevant Thoughts from the Baby Boomer

If you are a fellow baby boomer I do not need to tell you what has happened in the past few years. However, for the benefit of those few who might be reading this and have not yet experienced the “pleasures” of growing old, let me just say that because our careers are winding down we find ourselves with more time to do some of the things we never wanted to do. Earlier in our lives we had a legitimate excuse of just not having enough time. Now not only have we lost that excuse, our opportunities have multiplied as our kids had kids some of whom have kids. There are baby showers, weddings, home warming parties, shopping trips with the wife, and other awful chances to be entertained. This is one of those stories.

My wife’s cousin’s son was finally getting married. It was a 130 mile trip but the town was renowned for its golf course. So I agreed to go. I dropped my wife off with her other cousin whose husband, Harry, was an avid golfer. He and I hit the links with plenty of time to get in nine holes. We deserved it. The wedding was at two. Our tee time was at eleven and the course was just 20 minutes from the chapel. We would have made it in plenty of time except Harry couldn’t putt. Don’t jump to conclusions and start blaming us. I gave him his last 18″ putt, beat him by 1 stroke, and we arrived at the chapel at 2 minutes until two. So we were not late – not technically. Harry elected to wait in the car. That wasn’t an option I enjoyed. I wore my golf attire except for the shoes and looked better than some of those kids with rings in their noses and tongues and who knows where else I couldn’t see.

Never have I attended a wedding that started on time. Or should I say never had I attended a wedding that started on time? I pushed through a gang of three or four blocking the double doors to the sanctuary. It was straight up and down two o’clock. The pianist wasn’t paying attention and began playing “Here Comes the Bride” just as I opened the doors. All eyes were on me, especially those of my wife. The wedding almost went off without a hitch, but soon the groans turned to laughter and the two did get hitched.

I was the star of the reception. Since I had missed lunch just to make my wife happy, I enjoyed much finger food. The punch was a bit painful, and I’ll have a bruise to prove it.

Our drive home was a typical journey for an old retired couple. Very little was said as we enjoyed the scenery of the fallen leaves and looked forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow after church we’re going to a special sale for preferred customers, the official kick off for Christmas shopping. We would have never had the time or energy to take advantage of this buying opportunity before retiring.


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