How to Avoid Fighting with an Adult Sibling

Some people enjoy fighting. They love a good argument, but when light hearted bantering turns into a shouting match, disagreements are no longer fun. Families can be torn apart, especially when an adult sibling is the prime cause of the problems again and again. Adults should be able to control their verbalizations and actions to avoid creating serious family issues, but some people are always at war, even if the problem is due to mental illness. Find out how to avoid fighting with an adult sibling, and put a stop to ruined holidays, jealousy, resentment and more.

Walking on Eggshells

My good friend has an adult sibling that seems to have serious emotional problems. Her sister can be a very pleasant person, and she is able to function in society, but not normally. When things do not go her way she becomes an emotional wreck. She is very easily offended, and as a result she turns positive issues into negative situations time and time again. She will not take advice on any level, and she takes an opposite stance no matter the subject. The woman cannot see any of her faults. My friend’s adult sibling behaves like a child when she is happy, and when she is upset she becomes a spoiled brat. I have personally witnessed her behavior. The family can no longer get together for holidays because of angry outbursts, fighting and the emotional scars. Truly hateful words cannot be taken back, even if they were uttered by someone unhinged, unhappy and mentally ill.

Ruined Holidays and Gatherings

My friend agreed to answer my questions on how to avoid fighting with an adult sibling. She said her entire family has walked on eggshells around this person for decades, and the issue finally came to a head this past Christmas. What bothered my friend the most was the timing of the latest round of fighting. A person has a limited number of Christmas holidays in a lifetime, and one of my friend’s was ruined. Because she was not able to avoid fighting with her adult sibling, the celebration was absolutely destroyed for the entire family. My friend has a theory though. She thinks that her adult sibling wanted her to be just as miserable as she was that day. It worked, but only temporarily. She plans to avoid fighting with her sister and keep peace in the family through avoidance.

Verbal Lashings and Fighting

It is impossible to convince someone to change, at least not without the desire to amend personal flaws. If negativity, low self-esteem and other destructive behaviors are caused by a psychological problem, mental help should be sought. Trying to convince a stubborn, defensive and inherently mean person that they are wrong is like trying to explain something to a brick. Some people are never wrong, at least not in their warped minds, and my friend’s adult sibling is no exception.

My friend’s sister is clearly unhappy with her life, and she could not lash out at the people she really wanted to tell off. I surmised that she chose someone safe to attack instead. She would not lose her job if she verbally attacked a family member, and she would not be looked down upon by neighbors, church members or anyone else in her community. They would surely hear all about her evil older sister, but she knew that no one outside of the family would learn the other side of the story.

Life Goes On

My friend has chosen to cut ties with her adult sibling. She no longer feels comfortable at family gatherings. She plans on hosting her own. Even if her adult sibling had an explanation for her outrageous behavior, things would never be the same. My friend says she can no longer trust her sister, and she does not want to have to walk on broken eggshells. She considers it much easier to walk away than risk being attacked again, especially on holidays. She has already lost one Christmas to hatred, jealousy, resentment or whatever possessed her adult sibling to go off like a loose cannon, and she will never let it happen again.

Source: Personal Interview and Family Experience


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