We’ve had personal experience with this. An elderly family member has recently had surgery, and for a time we thought we’d lose her. There are still some doubts amongst family members about how necessary the surgery was and if it would make other, serious medical conditions worse. We don’t know. Neither do the doctors.
Discussion: Some doctors don’t discuss proposed medical treatments with their patients. They may be too busy or they may believe the patient wouldn’t understand. That’s not a good practice, especially if the patient is older. If the person who is supposed to be operated on is a relative, make sure you have a clear understanding about what the procedure is and why it’s needed. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
The doctors to fear are the ones that refuse to discuss treatment options with anyone. If your doctor fits that description, do not go back. It would be far better to find another doctor than to have an operation with a potential for a bad outcome. Naturally, there are exceptions to this rule, but that would only be in an emergency situation where speed is important.
How Important is it: Some surgeries are obviously necessary. A broken hip can’t be left alone, it has to be put back together or replaced. Some many not be as necessary. When another relative had cancer, the doctor advised us not to allow surgery. He’d be more likely to die from the treatment than from the cancer. That doesn’t mean surgery shouldn’t be done, but it does point out the need for proper communication.
Get a Second Opinion: Not only should you get a second opinion, it’s best if that doctor is not in a working relationship with the first one. You need fresh eyes to look at the problem. Again, that’s not for everything. Going back to the broken hip, time is of the essence, and you may not be able to ask for another opinion.
If there’s time, and a conflict between the two treatment options, go for a third. The number of elderly who are operated on in the last year of their life is rising. What isn’t clear is whether or not the reason the patient died had a relationship with the surgery. With that as a possibility, asking questions is highly desirable.
Surgery for the elderly is a delicate issue. In this instance, it’s not about who should be treated and who shouldn’t. It’s about whether or not the proposed treatment is appropriate. No one will blame you for trying to make sure the treatment isn’t worse than the disease.