Dealing with Divorce and Custody Issues: What to Do when Your Ex is Physically Abusive to Your Kids

Perhaps your marriage was full of physical abuse and you had no way to safety but to get out. Now you are facing custody and visitation rights through court as well as a nasty divorce. Your ex has been abusive to you, but what happens when your ex is also physically abusive to your kids? What can you do?

If there has been a pattern of abuse within the marriage, it is crucial to save your children from a similar fate. The worst thing you can do is abandon them, either by ignoring it or leaving them in the situation with your ex. Keep every bit of documentation including photographs of any visible bruises or marks, hospital records, and write down every single incident that has ever happened to you and your kids.

Take this information to court to plead for limited or supervised visitations for your ex. Make such a compelling case that it will be clear to the judge that if left unsupervised, your children could be at risk of physical abuse from your ex.

A word of caution, many parents get so caught up in the battle of custody disputes with their ex that they use law enforcement and the legal system as a way to try to attack their ex. Do not do this. It destroys your credibility. Legal resources are there to help you when you really need them so make sure that your intentions are to protect yourself and the safety of your children and not intended as a way to attack your ex.

If your ex is physically abusive to your kids, do what it takes to stop that abuse immediately and legally. Children do not need to be put in the middle of an adult’s war and they certainly do not need to be abused. We all go through life trying to get over the events of our childhood so why put our own kids through that? They deserve to live a happy and healthy life knowing that both of their parents love them. It is your job as their parent to see to it that this becomes a reality for them daily.

Source: Amber J. Cabrera

Inspiration from: Using divorce mediation : save your money & your sanity / by Katherine E. Stoner.
Berkeley, Calif. : Nolo Press, c1999.
http://www.nolo.com/law-authors/katherine-stoner.html


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