BA BAA BAAAAAA. The sound of the Foxy News Station Channel 11 sounded. Savanna Hoss looks up and stares into the camera.
“Hello. Welcom to Foxy News. I’m your host, Savanna Hoss, and tonight we’ll be taking a look at a couple of things,” she began, reading off the teleprompter, and continued, “including how you can cut your own taxes, what you can do to save gas, and how the police caught the infamous bank robbing couple, Alabama Abbey and Texas Travis.”
Her spine tingled just thinking about the couple who would notoriously rob banks, Abbey and Travis. It was good that they had finally been caught. 25 years in the slammer for those Yahoos!
She went on, “But first, in most recent news, there has been a plane wreck somewhere along the Pacific. Officials aren’t exactly sure of where the plane crashed yet, but search helicopters have been sent out. Here we have reporter Cynthia Cunningham speaking with the coordinator of flight. Cynthia?”
Over the network camera, miles away at the Southwest Airlines airport, reporter Cynthia Cunningham spoke over the camera to hundreds of people, sitting and watching in their living rooms. “Thanks Savanna. I’m here at Southwest Airlines, where the plane took flight at 10:30 this morning and crashed at 12:43 pm. Officials are still not sure of location of the crash. Search and rescue helicopters have just deported and are headed in the same direction of the crash. There was said to ahve been only two people aboard this plane, but officials are not entirely sure. They are searching for the two pilots who were aboard this plane and any others that also may have been aboard. We can only pray for those poor souls, wherever they may be.”
Somewhere in the middle of Nowhere 1:23 pm…
Sarah Lemke, a young, blonde, college girl, was terrified. There her and her best friend, Madison Scharmer, were on some uncharted island in the middle of nowhere. Two blondes in the middle of nowhere; that could be interesting.
“We’re doomed!” Sarah cried.
“Whatcha mean?” Madison asked, clueless.
“We’re stranded, Madison. On an uncharted island! With NO mall in site!”
Madison’s eyes grew two times bigger. “What!? NO MALL?! That’s terrible!”
“What are we going to do?” Sarah asked, kicking the dirt.
“Relax, they must have a JC Penny atleast.” Madison condoled with her.
Sarah looked at her angrily. “Madison…we’re stranded. On an unknown, uncharted island! Our plane crashed!”
Madison looked around, confused. “Oh yeah!” she remembered. “So we’re not in the Bahamas then.”
Sarah exploded, “NO! Don’t you see? We’re done for! And by the way we were on our way to Jamaica, not the Bahamas.”
Madison’s eyes lit up like she had an idea. “wait, hold on. I think I know what to do. I’ve seen a TV show about this type of thing before.”
“Wait, it wasn’t one of those dumb ‘Survivor Man’ shows was it?”
“No…..Gilligan’s Island.” Madison replied. “Quick, where are the other survivors?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s just us.” Sarah said, frightened that they might be alone.
“What? No way. There was atleast one more.”
“How do you know, you rode in the cargo bay!”
Madison smirked at her. “There had to be a pilot!”
Sarah stopped and thought. “Wait, what?”
Madison began to talk really slow, like she was talking to a 3-year-old. “A pilot….that’s the one who DRIVES the PLANE.”
“Yes, Maddy, I know what a pilot is. I mean where could he be?”
Madison looked stumped. “Hmm. That’s a good question.”
“Lets look for him.” Sarah suggested
They both put their hands above their eyebrows and looked to their left, then to their rights, but no pilot was in sight.
“Hmm, don’t see him.” Maddy chimed in.
“He has to be around here somewhere!” Sarah said frantically. “Call for him!”
Both of them starting howling like coyotes. “Hellooo?! Helloooo!? Where are you?….Pilot guy, come out wherever you are!” There was no sign of him.
Sarah took a deep breath and braced herself. “He must have……kicked the bucket.”
Maddy didn’t understand. “You mean our lives in danger and he’s standing around kicking buckets?”
“No, Maddy, he…….ahh nevermind!” She chanted.
Maddy was upset. “How could someone be so selfish? Our lives are at stake!”
Suddenly, at the sound of the word stake Sarah began to salivate. “Haha….steak….ha….sounds good.”
Maddy agreed. “Haha….yeah….it does….” She began to salivate,too.
Sarah’s mouth was dripping. “Mmmm, big juicey steak….” She was fantasizing about a big wad of tenderly cooked meat.
Maddy didn’t really know what was going on – she never did – so she went along with it anyways. “Yummy.”
Saliva dripped from Sarah’s mouth like water from a spicket. “Mmmmm……mmmm….” Then reality set in again. “WAIT…..” She barked at Maddy, “What are we going to eat?”
“I don’t know. Steak doesn’t sound too bad.” She replied without a worry in her voice.
“There’s nowhere to get steak here!” She yelled. Then she took a big look at her friend, and again began to salivate. “Except……human steak.”
“Don’t think I’ve ever tried that” Maddy pondered, looking up in the air.
Sarah hit her forehead repeatedly. “No, No, No, Sarah, hold yourself together! No eating people!”
Maddy was still deep in her thoughts of whether or not she’s eaten human flesh. “Or have I?”
“Oh! But what are we going to eat?!” Sarah questioned herself.
Maddy came back, and actually answered with a good, logical answer. “There’s probably a coconut tree around here somewhere.” Maybe she did know what was going on.
“Ewww..” Sarah said. “I’m not eating a coconut! Those things have hair! I was afraid I was going to have to say this, but Maddy…..we’re going to have to eat…..EACH OTHER.”
Maddy’s face turned serious. “What?”
“I’m afraid so….”
“But Sarah…..we don’t even have any salt or pepper. Or Ketchup! That’s going to tast terrible!”
“It’s our only shot at survival, Maddy.”
Maddy looked down. “Okay….Who’s first?”
Sarah held out her right hand to Maddy. “Go ahead. Eat ME! I couldn’t bear to watch you die!”
Maddy looked at her weird for a second, unsure. “Uuuugh…” Then she shrugged. “Okay” Slowly, she leaned and very carefully bit her hand.
Sarah pulled away quickly in pain. “OW!”
Maddy was spitting everywhere. “Sarah, you taste awful!”
“Well it’s your only option!”
Maddy looked away. “I think I’ll take my chances with the coconut tree.”
Sarah was upset now. They were done for, she thought. “Fine then! I guess this is it. It was nice knowing you….”
“You too Sarah.” Madee said cheerfully.
Sarah got serious now, with a tone of voice as a person with a terminal illness speaking to their child. “Before I die” she said, “I want you to know that you’re my best friend. I’m sorry if I’ve ever disappointed you old friend.”
Maddy came in, all serious now too. “Before I die, I want you to know that when we first met….I thought you were a boy.”
Sarah’s face got red. “You…..what!? Oh, whatever! I just can’t believe this is the end!”
“You said it pal!” Maddy said, then looked over at Sarah. On her arm she saw some little orange wrist band. “Hey, what’s that on your wrist?”
Sarah pointed to it. “This? Oh, this is the bracelet I got for giving blood.
Maddy was shocked. “You gave blood?!”
“Yeah. You didn’t know that?”
Maddy was intrigued still. “No, I didn’t know that. So you’re telling me you’re a good person? Is there anything else I don’t know about you?”
Sarah thought for a moment. “Hmm. I don’t know. Did you know I was a volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or went on a mission trip at my church?”
“No! Never knew that…”
“Oh, well yeah. I do alot of things like that.”
Maddy was still impressed at how much she didn’t know about her best friend. “Hmm, wow. I had no idea.”
Sarah was upset. “Maddy, we’ve been best friends since kindergarten, how don’t you know this?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe we don’t know each other as well as we thought we did.”
“Yeah……maybe.”
Suddenly, the lightbulb above Maddy’s head, which rarely came on, sparked so much it nearly blew a breaker. “Hey, I know! Why don’t we play 21 questions, where we keep asking each other questions. We might as well get to know each other before we die, right?”
Sarah was surprised that Madee came up with something like that. “You know, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. You go first!”
“Okay, hmm…..” Maddy thought for a moment, almost so hard that smoke nearly came out her ears. Then an idea came to her. “Oh!” she said exicitedly. “If you had to be trapped on an uncharted island with anyone in this world, who would it be?”
Sarah was confused with whether or not this was a trick question. “Uuuugh…..you?”
Maddy lit up with joy. “Meeee? OOOOOH, SARAH!!!!”
Sarah rolled her eyes and sighed. “Okay. What’s your favorite movie?”
“Lord of the Flies!” Maddy answered back right away.
Sarah gave her one of those are you kidding me? looks like she often did. “Lord of the Flies? Maddy, do you know what that’s about?”
“Yeah. Kids who survive a plane crash and are stranded on an island.”
Sarah was lost now too. Now she knew how Maddy felt. “Umm…..okay? That’s ironic.”
“Yeah, I know! It’s one of those movies where I don’t know what I’d do if I was in a situation like that!”
The are you kidding me? look didn’t leave her face. “Ummmm….” she didn’t know what to say to that. She just shook her head. “Your turn.”
Maddy thought for a moment. “Hmm….what’s your favorite movie?”
“It’s a Wonderful Life. What’s your favorite color?”
“Uuugh….blue! What’s your favorite color?”
“Orange. What’s your favorite type of sodapop?”
“Diet Coke. What’s your favorite type of sodapop?”
Sarah was beginning to get angry. “Grape soda. What’s your favorite food?”
“Pancakes!” Maddy bellowed, then repeated, “What’s your favorite food?”
“Okay, Maddy, you can’t repeat every question I ask.” Sarah said, angrily.
“Well, you can’t say every question I’m about to ask before I ask it!” she shot back.
“Maddy, you….I…errr!” Sarah was speechless now. “We’re doomed….”
Maddy spacedoff for a moment, then saw some small, dark figure off in the distance. She pointed it out “Hey. who’s that short guy off in the distance coming our way? Is it the pilot?”
Sarah squinted to see what it was. Then she saw it. It was a short, looking man it looked like….and he seemed to be running towards them. Suddenly, she realized what it was. “No, Maddy….that’s a Baboon! RUN!” she screamed and took off running.
Maddy was confused. “Why? He looks cute!”
“RUN, or he’ll maul us to death!” she said running into the trees.
The baboon ran past Maddy and chased after Sarah.
“I thought you said there was no mall….” Maddy said.
THE END
ALL COPYRIGHTS RESERVED @@@ Use for speech granted, in humorous duo style.**** Jaron Dahle, author. ****21359-1346=23457***