Blind Spot

Jill eased down on the accelerator allowing the roar of the engine to drown out her relentless thoughts. Driving had always been a comfort to Jill that allowed her to break free from her chaotic reality and immerse herself in the sanctuary of her vehicle and the open road. Jill’s fondest memories were the family trips in the avocado green station wagon driving through beautiful scenic places with no destination. The joy of the drive ended abruptly with the death of her parents just 8 months ago. Her parents were taking a drive in a remote area outside the city when they were hit and killed at the hand of a drunk driver.

With the immense grief of losing her parents and no outlet to release the stress, Jill suppressed her emotions and tried to throw herself into work. The urge to escape by driving was often, but the fear and visions of the accident held her back. Jill found herself hitting rock bottom when she received a pink slip laying her off from the only thing that was keeping her sane. Jill could feel the overwhelming sense of hopelessness rapidly increasing and only by desperation she surrendered her needs over her fears. Eager for a sense of solace, she headed out toward the city limits.

Jill focused on the road and tried to contain her fragile state of mind. She looked in her rear view mirror noticing that the tops of the city buildings were becoming more distant until finally disappearing into the background. As if she had been in a trance, she jolted herself from her thoughts to her get a grips on her location. She slowed down and parked her car off the main road. Jill looked at a familiar turnout just ahead with several withered flower bouquets and wreaths that had been placed as a memorial of loved ones lost. She hadn’t been here since the accident and was completely dismayed that she had driven directly to the site of her parents accident. After some hesitation, Jill got out of the car hoping to fill her hollow self with a sense of closeness to her parents.

With an overwhelming urge to walk, Jill headed up inclining path leading toward several large weeping willow trees. The mild breeze and the surrounding green hills felt comforting and oddly calming to Jill. She found herself standing on the edge of a bluff overlooking the road and turnout below. Knowing she was finally alone, Jill allowed herself to release the flood gate of emotions that she had suppressed for so long. She let out a concentrated scream of both anger and sadness followed by intense crying that drenched the ground beneath her knees. The breakdown only lasted for minutes, but it felt like hours before Jill could calm herself down. She felt so emotionally and physically drained, but attempted to put herself together and head back down the hill to her car. She took few deep breathes attempting to collect herself when she heard a voice behind her speak. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but are you okay?”

Jill felt a flush of heat swell her face as she realized someone had witnessed her insane breakdown. Feeling flustered and vulnerable she whipped around in effort to downsize her manic episode. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone was around”, as she stared at a man with the most amazing blue eyes she had ever seen. He looked truthfully concerned for her. “It’s been a tough year and I justed needed to get out of the city and get some air. I’m not a lunatic or anything and I’m sorry you saw all of that.”

“No need to apologize, I live just over the hill and thought you may need some help so I rushed over. “You know, this is a good spot to lose control,” he said with a smirk. I’m Andrew.”

“I’m Jill, she said forcing a smile. “It’s getting late, I should be heading home.” She wanted to hide herself behind a rock, feeling so mortified.

“I realize I’m a stranger to you, but can assure you that I’m a nice guy and would love to lend you my ear if you want to talk, no pressure. We don’t get a lot of people up this way as it is, and it is refreshing to see a new face. If it makes you feel better, we don’t even have to talk, we could just sit and take in the beautiful view.”

She didn’t want to go home to the harsh reality of her existence. “I suppose, I could stay for a little while longer,” as Jill said shyly.

Andrew and Jill connected immediately and talked as if they had been friends for years. Jill shared her tragic story with him. He was such a good listener and oddly comfortable to be around. Before they knew it, the sun started to set, and Jill knew she couldn’t stall returning any longer. “Strangely, I enjoyed talking to you today. Thanks for listening to me and being so understanding. I’d better be heading home.”

“This is a first for me Jill, I don’t usually go picking up girls in this fashion, Andrew said jokingly. “However, if you are able and want to, I would love to meet up with you again sometime if you are ever out this way.”

Jill felt her heart start beating fast like a childhood girl with a crush. “I would like that Andrew.”

Jill and Andrew’s meetings became a weekly routine. They both enjoyed each others company and both looked forward to see each other. It began as a friendship and rapidly turned into something more. They shared a deep connection that intensified as they spent more time with each other.

Jill knew she was falling in love with Andrew. She decided she couldn’t wait another week to see him so she was going to surprise him. She had never been to his house, but it couldn’t be hard to find as she remembered the vicinity of where he said he lived and since there were not a lot of homes, she figured it wouldn’t be that hard to find. She pulled up to her normal parking spot just short of the turnout and walked up the foot path toward the hill Andrew once pointed out. She walked for a bit and noticed a farmhouse about a half mile up the road. As she got closer to the home, she saw that it was really run down and it didn’t look like anyone lived in it. She thought that it may have been the wrong house, but continued approach in the hopes she was wrong. She noticed a few large stones to the right of the farmhouse surrounded by a fence and concluded that it was an old cemetery. As she approached the ceremony, she browsed all the gravestones wondering if this was Andrew’s family cemetery. A name on one of the tombstones caught her eye, Andrew Walker with the date of death the same day and year as her parent’s accident. This seemed too much of a coincidence as a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach started to grow more intense. She remained transfixed on the headstone and then heard a familiar voice behinder her. She turned around and saw Andrew staring back at her.

Andrew looked different than all the times before. He was less solid and almost transparent. Jill thought her eyes were playing tricks on her.

“I wanted to tell you Jill, but I wasn’t sure how to,” Andrew’s voice lowered to almost a whisper.

“What are you talking about Andrew?” Jill was able to stammer out.

“I was driving home from a party and I was pretty drunk. I knew I shouldn’t have driven, but I thought I would be okay. I must have dozed off because the last thing I remember is hearing a honking noticing a car coming towards me flashing it’s headlights. Realizing that I was in the wrong lane I tried to swerve, but I was too late. My car it them and flipped over the top of their vehicle.”

Andrew paused for a moment, “The car I hit was your parent’s car, Jill. I am so sorry. For one reason or another I’m drawn to the accident site and when I saw you I just had to know you. I didn’t plan on falling for you, I just didn’t want what we have to end. Nothing I could say could ease your pain and suffering and for that I’m truly sorry. I came to tell you goodbye and that I’m so very sorry.”

Jill stood in the state of shock and amazement. “I don’t know what to think or say. How is this even possible? You are responsible for my parent’s death and you’re telling me you are dead? This can’t be happening!” Jill supported herself on a near by rock to get her bearings.

“Jill, I hope you can forgive me someday. I wish we had met under different circumstances.” Andrew bent over and kissed Jill on the cheek. “I will always love you.”

Andrew stepped back as his ghostly silhouette grew fainter and fainter.

“Andrew, wait! Please come back! You can’t leave me!” Jill yelled out in desperation.

Silence filled the air as Jill was left in an empty cemetery calling to air without reply. Defeated, she curled up next to Andrew’s burial stone, feeling tremendous emotioni and physical pain; she lay whimpering uncontrollably until she fell asleep with the hope of never awaking from this nightmare.

Jill awoke and forced herself up, slowly stammering toward the path back to her reality that she had tried to escape from just weeks ago. With every step she took, a sense of closure and relief intensified. She had never felt as weak and yet so powerful all at the same time and at that moment she knew she would be alright.


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