If anyone asks, I limit my Facebook friends list to only my nearest and dearest. In reality, this list of my nearest and dearest has over 500 members and is growing every day. I’m not exactly sure how it happened. As I scan my news feed and find myself frustrated with the updates I see, I’ve decided that it’s time to start paring down the list. These moms are the first to go.
The Woe-Is-Mom
Yes, you’ve been up since 4:30. For the past 6 months. And your husband isn’t helping. And your oldest daughter’s school has had snow days for the past 12 days. I totally get it. I feel your pain. But could you please, please stop doing nothing but complaining about the life you’ve chosen for yourself? Please? If not, don’t be surprised when you’ve been unfriended. Life’s too short for your kind of negativity.
Little Miss Perfect
You know the woman I’m talking about. Her house is always immaculate. There’s never a dish in the sink or a toy out of place. Her Facebook posts are always about how perfect her husband is, how sublimely happy she is, or the cutest little thing that her son or daughter said today. She paints a pretty picture, no matter what her life is actually like. I can’t deal with the perfection. You’re out.
The Underachiever
With tongue in cheek she constantly refers to herself as the mom of the year. She’s bragging about her shortcomings as a mother. While I’m all for no-shame parenting (I do believe that we’re all in this together), I really don’t need to hear about every single failure you make as a mom…especially if you post them so I can boost your ego with compliments about how great you really are.
Mompetitors
These ladies are a sneaky bunch, so don’t let them fool you. They’re friendly at first. You might not even notice their snide comments in posts until your feelings start getting hurt. Get out before it’s too late. You’ve been pulled into the mompetition. Whose child walked first, has more words, and which mom breastfed for longest? I have bigger worries. There’s no room in my news feed for you.
Sally-Shares-A-Lot
Do I really need to know that your child hasn’t had a bowel movement in four days? Or that your daughter had a stomach bug that was coming out of both ends? What about your son who woke up with his first…well…you-know? There’s a fine line when it comes to sharing things about your children. Please stop crossing it.
Which moms aren’t going to make the cut when you do your next batch of unfriending? Why?