One of the hard things about social interaction when you have kids is dealing with people who don’t have kids. Most people who don’t have children just lack some perspective in certain areas as to what it’s like to have kids and the responsibilities attached. My life as a parent would be a great deal easier if everyone knew just a few more things about socializing as a parent-including my friends, family, and even random passersbys with their judgmental eyes.
Parents need forewarning.
If you expect someone with kids to go somewhere with you or do something, they need forewarning. It takes time to get sitters or get kids ready. Parents can’t just get up and walk out the door whenever they want or do whatever they want when they want. Don’t call a parent five minutes before hand and expect whatever you call about to happen within those minutes.
Believe it or not kids aren’t easy.
If my kids are dirty, screaming and being complete jerks, please don’t lecture me on your extensive parenting knowledge if you don’t even have kids. I know my kids are gremlins. I know they get into things and can be super annoying-oh, do I know- but they are good kids. I’m a good mother and I don’t need your judgment. If you have something constructive to offer a parent fine, but you have no place evaluating parenting skills and practices if you’ve never practiced.
Bringing the kids with is not a break.
If you want to do something social with a parent and they can’t find a sitter, refrain from trying to push them to doing it anyway. Keeping my kids in line in my own home is far less stressful than in a restaurant, an un-kid proofed house, or some other not-my-house location. Chances are if I’m telling you I don’t have a sitter, and I haven’t said, “I could bring the kids,” my stress level can’t handle an outing with them. Instead you could offer to come to said parents home, find a kid friendly activity, or just reschedule-there’s that forewarning tip coming into play.
Don’t parent my kids.
If a parent does brave a social outing with children in tow, don’t be that ever-so-helpful friend that jumps in and tries to be the parent. If my kids are doing something you feel is dangerous or improper, just tell me. Don’t discipline my kids. Don’t teach my kids stuff without asking me about it. Don’t laugh as you teach my kids hilarious bad habits. It’s nothing against you. All people have different views on life, parenting and right from wrong.
What’s your biggest non-parent friend peeve?
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Leaving a Child Alone: How Young is Too Young?
Dealing with Unwanted Parenting Advice
3 Ways to Help Kids Learn Social Skills