Quick. Who is your favorite author? If you answered Hunter S. Thompson then you are a prime candidate for being an English major at college. Do you like to wear tweed jackets? English could be for you, too. Hate television? Yep, you are the stereotypical English major. For the record, I recently earned my Masters Degree in English and I’ve never read anything from Hunter S. Thompson, never ever wear tweed anything (too dorky), and I love television – reality TV is the best thing to happen to TV since the remote control.
So, getting back on track, why shouldn’t you get a degree in English? Simple. Here are 5 reasons. Take my advice.
1) English is a dying language. I’ve had many professors, English professors, who told their classes that English is a dying language, much like Latin. This doesn’t mean that English will go extinct in the world, no. It means that as a degree it is fading fast. It doesn’t serve a purpose other than to teach others English. That is the sad but true truth.
2) It is full of those who refuse to embrace change. English ‘people’ like things the old way. By ‘old way’ I mean the way things were in the 1800s. Look at the authors they consider to be canon. Shakespeare, Chaucer, Joyce, Eliot, Austen… It goes on and on. The sad truth is that the vast majority of English majors/professors (NOT all of them) do not like modern works. Try to discuss the genius of Stephen King and they will laugh at you. That isn’t just sad, it’s ignorant.
3) No jobs. This is obvious. All English majors know this going into the field. Getting a job with an English degree can be a very tough and specialized task. Finding a job will be your job.
4) The cool/fun girls aren’t English majors. If you are looking for a date who is into adventure, excitement, and a wild time, don’t date within the English field. Again, this is not a blanket statement, just a direct observation from my time earning the degree. There will be hot bookworm types but they are usually too shy to be fun.
5) You don’t need an English degree. Ask yourself why you want the English degree? Is it because you want to be a writer? Well, can you write, now? Yes? Thought so. Go be a writer. Don’t even bother with college. It will only be a waste of time. Take a course or two in creative writing and structure and then just write. Don’t need the degree. Unless you truly desire to be an English professor (nothing wrong with that) or you are self-actualizing and enjoy learning for the sake of learning, then it is best to avoid majoring in English. Try German.