As a parent, few things are more stressful than when your child needs to have surgery.Sure, kids have routine surgical procedures done all the time, and some not so routine as well, but nothing seems routine when it comes to your child. To you and your child, this is a big deal , no matter how simple or complex the procedure is.
Speaking as a mother who has been through a few surgeries between my five children, I speak not as any expert but as someone who has been there and has experienced what you might be going through now. You may be worried, apprehensive, scared, confused, stressed, and feeling any combination of feelings and emotions. Hopefully, I can offer some helpful suggestions for dealing with this difficult time.
If you are concerned or confused about anything to do with your child’s condition or procedure, consult your child’s physician, who should be able to explain things to you clearly. Learn and understand the procedure and associated risks, but try not to dwell on the “what ifs,” because some things are beyond your control. Try to have confidence to trust in your child’s doctor, nurses, and other hospital staff, as they are trained professionals.Your medical team will understand that while this may be an every day occurrence for them, to you this is something totally new and they will realize that you are concerned for your child’s welfare.
If the surgery is an emergency situation, there is no time for advanced planning or preparation. If you find yourself thrust into an emergency situation, try to keep as calm as you possibly can, and if your child is coherent, try to be strong in their presence so that they will not sense your fear. If mom or dad is freaking out, what is the little child to think? It can be difficult, and don’t guilt trip yourself if you do break down in front of them, after all, you’re only human, and you’re their parent.
If possible, and this is not an urgent matter, but a planned surgical procedure, learn all you can and discuss any relevant concerns with your child’s physician. Knowing what you’re dealing with and the possible risks can help alleviate a lot of worry.Also, when discussing risk, remember, most of the time, in many more instances than not, the worst case scenario will not apply to your child, especially with a routine type of surgery such as a tonsillectomy.
Try to reassure your child that everything will be fine, and make the experience as painless and “cool” as possible. Tell him/her what a neat experience it will be to get to stay in a hospital (if applicable) and reassure them that everyone will be kind to them. Tell them you wish you got to have a cool purple cast or something of that nature that applies to their situation.
Have a support system, if available. Relatives or friends are almost always willing to come sit with you during your child’s surgery, if they possibly can. Notify those close to you and see if they will come keep you company in the waiting area. This helps calm you as a parent, and keeps you occupied.
Cling to your faith, if you are religious. Don’t be shy about asking those close to you to pray for your child’s situation. Consider asking your pastor to come out to the hospital, or if you have none, request the hospital chaplain pay a visit and offer a prayer and some comfort.
Stay occupied! Your mind will tend to wander, sometimes to not so pleasant places, while sitting there waiting for news on your child. Bring a good book to read, or a puzzle book, perhaps some snacks and a drink, knit or crochet, or watch television in the waiting area if available. Bring your phone and call or text friends (if cell phones are allowed in that area of the hospital) , or bring a laptop or other Internet accessible gadget with you to email or catch up on Facebook, just anything to distract yourself. Visit the hospital chapel and say a prayer if you’re of religious faith and simply cannot find a way to keep your mind off things.
Having surgery can be a scary time, not only for your child, but for you. It’s perfectly natural to feel however you feel , just focus on staying positive and upbeat for your child, to help them through this ordeal. I’ve survived one child with major lung surgery, one with setting a badly broken arm, and another one with oral surgery and most recently, a Ganglion cyst removal. All required anesthesia and certain risks, so I made sure to know the facts and speak with their doctors.
Happily, most times, everything is just fine. Hold on to that positive thought, and best of luck with everything!