Native American Actress, Irene Bedard, is best known for her role as the voice of Pocahontas in the Disney movie of the same name (1995). Her husband of seventeen years, Dennis E. Wilson, is a singer and song-writer and the two have produced at least three albums together, that I am aware of. The pair share a son (now age 7) named Quinn, whose safety and custody have become hot topics following the child’s abrupt removal from Bedard’s Alaskan family home, by order of Greene County, Ohio Domestic Relations Court here in Ohio (my home state)
Bedard’s niece explained that her aunt fled Ohio, to Alaska in 2010, to escape the seventeen years of physical, sexual and emotional abuse perpetrated against her by soon-to-be-ex-husband, ‘Deni’ Wilson. Bedard filed for a Domestic Violence Protection Order against Wilson, and he admitted the allegations. The parties reportedly entered into an agreement, wherein the court was not required to produce what is known as a “Findings of Fact and Conclusions of Law” in the agreed Domestic Violence Protection Order, which negated Bedard’s right to ask Alaska to maintain jurisdiction over the child custody aspects of their divorce.
Having relived the seventeen year horror of her abuse in Alaskan courts, being forced to return to Ohio and stripped of her child – along with her dignity and virtually all of her income, Irene Bedard is effectively a legal captive in the state of Ohio. Wislon’s attorneys forced the issue and obtained emergency custody of seven year old Quinn for their client, a proven Domestic Violence Offender.
Bedard was so run down, physically and psychologically, as a result of Wilson’s abuse, that she suffered severe health problems which her doctor at first believed could be cancer. Her only hope was to return to her family in Alaska for support while she healed from multiple injuries. Apparently, Wilson, like many batterers, isolated Bedard from her family and friends. Colleagues said he refused to allow her to take on new acting jobs without his explicit approval and the bruises Wilson left all over her body made it near impossible to work on-screen. Wilson also confiscated and controlled all of his wife’s income to prevent any steps she might take toward independence.
Many people are likely reading this right now going, “Why didn’t she just leave?” or “She is a celebrity. Her life can’t have been all that bad…” but you’re wrong! Women from all walks of life fall victim to Intimate Partner Violence, regardless of Race, Creed, Career Field or Tax Brackett.
I’d like to shed some light on reasons victims of Domestic Violence often times stay with their abusers, long past the time we should’ve left and run… Yes, I say “we” because I am also a Domestic Violence Survivor, and I have been where Irene Bedard and thousands of other battered women find themselves, staring out into the unknown – too humiliated to be seen in public, and terrified to go home. It is like living under Nazi control and is a dehumanizing experience to say the least. Judge not, lest ye be judged, eh?
There are a variety of reasons why victims of intimate partner violence remain in the relationship: fear, love, financial dependence, children (whom the batterer may say he will harm or take away if she leaves) humiliation, learned helplessness, religious beliefs on the sanctity of marriage, distorted views on gender roles, a sense of obligation to keep her family together …the list goes on for miles.
It’s no secret that human behavior is sometimes a mystery, and some things you may not agree with here – but just because you can’t understand why she stayed so long, does not mean she deserved to be beaten – or even raped – and emotionally destroyed by the one person in the world she should be able to trust implicitly! People have said these things to me, believe it or not!
I also realize I have been using the pronouns “she” and “her” quite a lot here. I do not dispute the fact that some men are victimized by their intimate partners as well. However, the fact is between 85 & 95% of all Domestic Violence victims are female. In the U.S. alone, more than 1200 women are killed every year by their abusive partner. One out of every four women will experience Domestic Violence in her lifetime and it is the leading killer of American women between the ages of 15 and 44 years of age! So in essence, I am addressing the majority, here. Those are some crazy statistics, are they not?
In Irene Bedard’s case, her greatest fears (being called a liar when she finally did report the abuse and asked for help, and losing her son to her abuser in court) came true…as did my own! But that’s another story…Right now, there is a petition circulating, started by Juanita Ramos Corum on causes.com to STOP THE ABUSE OF IRENE BEDARD.
I am not in any way affiliated with Ms. Bedard or her supporters, except to the extent that I know exactly how she feels and what she is going through! On that note, I am a supporter on causes.com and openly expressed my support of her efforts to attain safety and custody of her son.
Stay tuned because in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (OCTOBER 2011) and my personal commitment to helping create positive change in those statistics, I intend to tell my own story of victimization, survival, and healing right here, later this week.
For now, please remember this: LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT, If it does, IT IS NOT LOVE.
If you are in danger… Get Help, Please! Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline Website
– OR –
Call 1-800-779-SAFE (7233) / TTY 1-800-787-3224 for immediate assistance.
If you know someone experiencing Domestic Violence (especially if they’re still hiding the abuse and you’re beginning to get frustrated) I implore you…DO NOT GIVE UP ON HER! Isolation only makes it worse, and she will have no one to turn to when the inevitable time comes.