Teaching a Man to Love

: A deep, tender, indescribable feeling of passionate affection and solicitude toward a person proven to start epic battles and end empires. The complex, but primitive feeling has transcended through time leaving its mark on everything it touches. It often involves a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair or an intense emotional attachment. Regarded commonly by some as magical, more illusion than real. An illusion often heavily sought after by many. This feeling is then commercialized and its ideals are reinforced through mainstream entertainment making it more prevalent today with several people holding a feeling of passionate affection for “the feeling of passionate affection”, but what does it all mean?

Is this feeling Lust or Love?

Love and Lust are often used interchangeably and are not easily distinguished from each other, especially when under one of their spells of enchantment. They both invoke the same feelings inside people and will make those infected by its venom do uncharacteristic things in their pursuit of its high. The key contributing factor that separates “Love” from “Lust” is time. Love is an eternal fire that burns forever. Lust is a temporary fire that burns out!

So really, what is Lust?

Lust is the intense desire. It is the lure of love, the birth of kinship, the eye of infidelity and the culprit that demise relationships. The irony of irony: the thing that starts most relationships has been highly recognized as the exact same thing that ends many relationships.

Why do we lust?

People desire what they attend to. “A man can’t want something he does not pay attention to.” For example: There is a very prominent business man working in an office setting with several male and female colleagues. He’s a married man and has never committed any acts that would jeopardize his relationship with his wife. A new female co-worker approaches him and gives him a compliment on his attractiveness and professionalism and asks him out to a friendly lunch. He’s flattered by the compliment. It makes him feel good that an attractive young woman would have an interest in him. At this crossroad he can either go left or right. He can attend to her or he can stop it before it starts. If he attends to her, overtime he will develop a desire for her. This is the downfall of the greatest of men. Our attention to things creates our desires for them and thus Lust is born. As long as we add logs to the fire, the fire will continue to burn.

Now that lust is identified, what is LOVE? What does it mean to LOVE somebody?

In my first 20 years of existence I had several encounters with some of the best women Orlando had to offer and serious with a few, but never emotionally attached to any of them. I look back now and sometimes think “damn, how did I let her go.” In these various relationships I’ve found myself at war with ME! How could I criticize any dude for not being compassionate, when I have none! Not enough to even let that cumbersome phrase, “I love you”, roll off my tongue towards any female. Almost like, I would DIE if I said it.

I’ve heard it a time or two and have felt the pressures of saying it back even when I didn’t mean it. This made me feel like “garbage” on the inside because I take pride in being real to females, but how should a man respond to a “Baby I love you?”

Awkward silence!??????????
Ummmm I have deep feelings for you too!??????????

“Do that and you can chalk that one up as a LOSS. You’re lucky if she talks to you again. I wouldn’t if I was a female.”

I often use to sit back and think, “Damn, what’s wrong with me! Am I really that selfish and insensitive?” Most dudes WISH to meet as many quality females as I have and “I just can’t seem to cross that plateau!”

It was all because my definition of love was more than what I had encountered and I had not run into true love until one definitive night in the midst of turmoil and hardships. I received a gift from God. From the heavens this beautiful light brown goddess fell into my arms. More beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. Pure in every form, no blemishes from her skin color to her elegant silky hair. She exhibited the type of beauty that historically destroys empires. The city of Troy and countless rulers have fallen victim to this extraordinary exquisiteness. Till death do us part, was the first thing that crossed my mind the second I saw her. It was an instant overwhelming eternal desire that would live far beyond my time on earth. She was everything I had dreamed and more & showed love to me in its most existential form. Her love is like the love of God. No matter what’s going on in my life, she is still there with a smile that just brightens up my day because she knows that no matter what, I’m going get through it! I’m not talking about the feeling new couples have. I’m talking about LOVE. When I hurt, she hurts: a true unconditional love. She doesn’t care if I’m fat or skinny, rich or broke, lame or cool. None of those parameters has any effect on how she feels about me.

Cause to her, her daddy is the coolest person in the world.
It’s funny how having a toddler can teach a young man about love.

Love refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person that is selfless. It represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection that disregards your own significance for that of another. It is not just caring for someone because I can care for you and not love you. When someone loves you, they will risk their well being and comfort to ensure your well being and comfort. My mother loves me. My girlfriends have cared for me.

When I think of love, I think of how I feel about my daughter. She comes before me automatically without thought and her well being is my life. Whatever it takes to ensure that my daughter is going to be well off, I’m willing to do it. That to me is more than caring for someone. That is love. I don’t know how other men feel, but that is how I want to feel about my wife. Exhibiting that passionate feeling towards her making me feel that her well being is my well being: that feeling is what I consider loving her.

That’s love to me…


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