Family Values
In 1999, I was working as a disc jockey in Las Vegas playing music for wedding receptions and the occasional birthday party or family reunion. My beautiful, second ex-wife and I had taken the kids to church and a big Easter egg hunt at Sunset Park. They had a great time and were getting a little crazy from eating all that chocolate. Then I got a phone call from Bennie who ran the mobile disc jockey service. He said I needed to fill in for another guy who had a regular gig at a night club.I was supposed to get rolling and he would call me later with the details.
Got to Have Style
I took the family home and got my white tuxedo from the cleaners. I figured I could not go wrong with that.
I gathered up my music collection which was big enough to handle any occasion. I had played at every kind of gig, from a golden oldies party at the senior center to a hip hop debutante ball. I have to admit that I was completely fooled because Bennie called again to say that I would be filling in at the Crazy Horse One Saloon.
Bare Minimum Welcome
I hauled my music into the club after saying hello to the big Samoan at the door. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The club was like a gladiator stadium with a big stage in the middle. The dancing girls were sitting in red leather booths and rock and roll was thumping from the big speakers. I could see the disc jockey up high through a little window and he was waving for me to come on.
Tiny Dancer
After he showed me the buttons for the music and lighting effects, he packed up and left in a hurry which was a signal for the girls to come visit me to talk about their music selections. The first one to arrive was the cutest and shortest girl I have ever seen. Monique was wearing bunny ears and carrying a basket of goodies. She was a big fan of Prince and Rick James so that made my job easy.
Hot Stuff !
The next girl named Devon had a voluptuous body, barely concealed for the moment by a flaming red bikini and opera gloves. She had on a pair of devil horns and carried a little pitchfork. Her favorite dance music was Nine Inch Nails which was not exactly cheerful Easter music, but it was kind of religious in a gloomy way. It sounded like monks chanting after a good flagellation. Even though Devon was dressed for the wrong holiday, she did manage to capture the attention of a bachelor party
.
Merci?
Then, I had a visit from a girl named Cherry, who was carrying a heart shaped box full of chocolate covered cherries left over from Valentine’s Day. She had a very sweet French accent because she was here as an illegal immigrant from Canada. She liked to listen to the Cars and Blondie which was really dancing music, but Cherry just lounged around on stage in her lingerie and nobody complained.
The Rodeo is in Town!
There was a girl with a cowgirl hat and boots named Dixie who spoke with a Texas accent. She wanted to hear Elvis and ZZ Top sing “Viva Las Vegas” back to back when it was her turn. At first, the customers did not like that much, but Dixie warmed them up with some rope tricks and they settled down.
Hell on Heels
I was dumbfounded by the incredible talent of “Miss Holly Wood”, who had gotten married that very morning. She was wearing her bridal veil and garter, but not much else. She was the champion swinger on the brass pole and made all the other girls jealous with her big tips. That’s what the garter was for, collecting donations of appreciation for her acrobatic skill. Holly caught her high heel on her long veil and spilled a strawberry margarita on the pool table. She liked to listen to show tunes like “Hey, Big Spender” and “Cabaret”..
You get the Picture
I could go on with this list for a dozen more strippers, but you get the idea. All the girls tipped me generously and I made it through my shift. Since then, I always have to smile when Easter comes around, even though I am not married anymore.
Continue to Part Two.
Here are some links to other articles I wrote :
Spring Break Explosion : Led Zeppelin and the Dodge Charger of Doom
Top Ten Fun Things to do on your Hawaii Vacation
John Wayne and Tarzan with the Hollywood Gang
The Cults of Jane Fonda and Pamela Anderson
A Forgotten Clint Eastwood Movie
Top 10 Books and the Famous Movies They Inspired
Legendary Liz Taylor and Richard Burton in Cleopatra
The Rise and Fall of a Hollywood Empire
Growing Up in Show Business
Best Comedy TV Shows of the 1960’s
Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a comment.