Middle School Perception Story: Julie’s Big Challenge

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about Perception. The story is called “Julie’s Big Challenge.”

This conflict resolution story will be helpful to all students who find themselves being put-down by others. It will aid them in getting a healthier perspective about the motivations and strategies of some of their fellow students. In this story, Julie was once again being verbally attacked about her excessive body weight. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she had learned from her father to be sorry for those kids. She felt great compassion for kids who only knew how to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

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Section 4: Read Perception story: Julie’s Big Challenge

A. Teacher reads story to the class called “Julie’s Big Challenge.”

B. Story Description: This conflict resolution story will be helpful to all students who find themselves being put-down by others. It will aid them in getting a healthier perspective about the motivations and strategies of some of their fellow students. In this story, Julie was once again being verbally attacked about her excessive body weight. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she had learned from her father to be sorry for those kids. She felt great compassion for kids who only knew how to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

Julie’s Big Challenge
© 2001 by Debbie Dunn

Chapter 1: Julie and the Gang of Kids

Julie was in the seventh grade. She was cute in her own way but a bit on the heavy side. That had always been the case her whole life. Her older brother Joshua attended the middle school with her. He was in the eighth grade.

One day, Julie was walking down the hallway. It was right after lunch. Since they got dismissed a bit early that day, the kids had a little more time to congregate and to chat. As Julie walked toward her locker, she noticed that there was a group of four guys and two girls talking and laughing.

One of the girls, Lucinda, was pointing at her as she laughed. Julie impulsively decided to approach them. Then she calmly asked, “What’s the joke?”

Lucinda snapped, “You’re the joke! Look how big you are!”

Danny agreed, “Yeah! And get a load of those shoes! Did you get them at the Salvation Army or something?”

Not giving Julie time to answer, even had she wanted to, Mark said, “And your clothes! They must have come straight out of Good Will!”

Thin, trim, and popular Patty kind of looked shocked and said, “You guys! Don’t be so mean! Julie is very nice!”

Carl, who loved making alliterative comments where every word in the phrase started with the same letter, responded, “Okay, pretty Patty! Would you rather we say pleasingly plump?”

Roger, picking up the alliterative idea from Carl, said, “Or fantastically fat?”

Danny laughed and said, “Or repulsively roly-poly?”

Mark added, “Or happily hippo-heavy?”

Lucinda wanted a turn too. She excitedly said, “Oh, I’ve got it! We can say that Julie is in need of a changeover, cheerfully, charmingly, clumsily chubby!”

The group sounded as if they could go on and on making their alliterative comments on Julie’s body shape; however, she decided to not hang around to hear anymore.

Julie might have been tempted to talk it out with them had there only been one or two of them standing there. But as she realized that there was strength in numbers and that there was a mob mentality going on, she wisely decided to say nothing and simply walk on. Before she was quite out of earshot, she again heard Patty somewhat laughingly complain, “You guys, be kind!” Then she heard the kids laughing uproariously.

Julie reasoned to herself, “Well, let’s see. Should I be bothered by what they say? Nah! After all, I did buy my clothes at Good Will. My shoes, however, came from Pay Less. I’ve never gotten anything from the Salvation Army, not that there is anything wrong with that organization either. Ever since Dad died two years ago, we have had to live in what my Mom calls reduced circumstances. That’s just her way of saying that we are poor since we don’t have his income anymore. As for my weight, well, …, I am a big girl. Of course, my Dad always liked to phrase it as that I was a big and beautiful girl.” Julie’s eyes lit up as she thought, “He was always so sweet that way.”

Julie smiled a little and shook her head. She was so busy feeling sorry for them that she took no time to feel sad for herself. Julie thought, “Poor kids! It’s too bad they obviously don’t have a wonderful Dad like mine to teach them that putting other people down is simply a sign of sickness. It shows that they obviously are not getting enough love at home or from their friends. As Dad’s grandma always said, ‘EVERY ACTION IS AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR A CRY FOR LOVE.’ Well, they certainly are not showing love to me. I suppose that may be their way to show love to each other. But they wouldn’t find that necessary if they were getting all the love they needed. At least at my house, we may be poor, but there is plenty of love to go around. I miss Dad, of course, but I kind of feel like he’s still hanging around, watching over Mom, Joshua, and me.” Then Julie walked on to class and forgot all about the encounter with that group of six kids.

Julie had her sixth-period class with Patty. Patty made a point to walk up to her. She looked rather embarrassed as she said, “Uh, Julie? I’m really sorry about those other kids.”

Julie gently said, “Oh, that’s okay, Patty. I realize they didn’t know what they were doing really. I just felt sorry for them that they obviously are not getting enough love at home or from their special friends.”

Patty looked very surprised. She asked, “What? What do you mean?”

Julie said, “Well, my Dad always taught me that people only put others down when they are crying for more love. It is a symptom of their disease.”

“What disease?” Patty asked with curiosity.

Julie calmly explained, “The disease of not getting enough love or status to satisfy them. So they try to increase that status by putting others down. It might feel to them like it’s working for a short time, but then they go right back to feeling inadequate again. You, on the other hand, must be getting plenty of love as you didn’t join in with their game. I’m really happy for you.”

Patty said, “Uh, …, thanks. Your Dad sounds like an incredible man. I would like to meet him sometime.”

Julie looked a bit sad but resigned. It wasn’t the sharp, stabbing pain that it was two years ago, but she still missed her Dad very much. She said, “I wish you could, too, Patty, but, he, …, uh, …, died two years ago.”

Patty sort of gasped and said, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Uh, …, if you don’t mind saying, …, how did he die?”

Julie said, “He died in a car crash. A teenage drunk driver swerved off the road and went spinning out of control. Both the teenage driver and my Dad died almost instantly.”

Patty exclaimed, “That’s awful!”

Julie said, “So your friends were right in a way. I do have to get some of my clothes from Good Will because my Mom doesn’t make enough money to afford more, but we get by.”

Patty was impressed. She said, “Boy, Julie! You sound like you have it all figured out.”

Julie said, “Well, not everything, but I do okay.”

Suddenly, the teacher called class to order and Patty went scurrying back to her seat. She gave Julie a quick smile before she did so. Julie smiled back warmly.

During seventh period, Julie had a class with Lucinda and Carl. Lucinda sneered at Julie as she walked by. Julie shook her head and smiled to herself. Lucinda saw this and couldn’t help walking over. She demanded, “What are you smiling about?”

Julie RESPECTFULLY said, “Well, Lucinda, I would like you to know that I didn’t take offense at anything you said earlier. For one thing, some of it is true. For another thing, I can see that you must be having a really rough life since you find it necessary to try to put me down. I just hope your life gets happier for you really soon.”

Lucinda wrinkled up her nose and forehead in a big frown of surprise and asked, “What do you mean by all that?”

Julie explained, “I know that people who put other people down are doing it out of INSECURITY because they are not getting enough love from their family or friends. So I hope that you soon get everything that you need so you can feel better about yourself.”

Lucinda stared at Julie, with her mouth hanging open in surprise. Finally, she closed her mouth and muttered, “Whatever.”

Lucinda walked over to Carl and said, “That Julie is really strange. I think it would be best if we just stay away from her from now on.”

Carl asked curiously, “Why do you say that, Lovely Lucinda?”

Lucinda repeated, “She just talks weird, that’s all.”

Carl said, “I want to see for myself.” Then Carl walked over to Julie and asked, “So what’s up with the wildly weird comments to Lovely Lucinda?”

Julie giggled a bit at Carl’s love of alliteration and said, “All right, let’s see if I can do this right. Curious Carl, I made the wildly weird comments to Lovely Lucinda as she is sadly sick when she tries to put other people down. You must be longing for love yourself since you joined in the game. I am pleasingly plump and charmingly and cheerfully chubby and I do buy some of my clothes from Good Will. So I politely wish you a pleasant good day. What do you think about that?”

Carl said, “Wow! Hmmmmmmm! … I think I’ll have to call you Jolly Julie from now on.”

Julie smiled and said, “Thank you, Clever Carl! Now I think the teacher is about to start class. See you later.”

Carl walked off, shaking his head in wonderment. He thought, “Jolly Julie is all right!”

That evening, after Julie finished her homework, she started thinking more about her Dad. She was so grateful to him for helping her have the confidence she needed to stand up to put-downs without getting bent out of shape. She lied down on her bed and thought back to that long ago day when her Dad was still alive and well and capable of giving her lots of hugs and love.

Chapter 2: Flashback to three years earlier with Julie’s Mom, Dad, and her big brother

Julie’s father, before he died, had tried to teach both his kids to roll with the punches, so to speak. She could still remember him calling her by his favorite nickname, and saying, “Julie Bean, have you ever watched the chickens in a chicken yard?”

Julie replied, “No, Dad. I haven’t. Why?”

Mr. Johnson said, “I’ll have to take you one of these days. All those chickens are fighting over their turf. In other words, Julie Bean, everyone is very possessive of their little piece of ground. They want to have status. And some people are going to do or say some things that will appear pretty mean. Don’t take it personally even if it sounds like a personal attack. It’s simply a sign that the person is feeling INSECURE right now. Or it is a sign that their fight for greater status has become a bad habit they haven’t yet learned how to break.”

This had been three years ago. But Julie remembered responding, “But, Dad! If a kid says, ‘Julie, you are fat!,’ – it’s pretty hard not to take that personally. After all, the kid said my name.”

Her Dad said, “Julie Bean, when a kid calls you or anyone a name, it is just their feeble way of trying to fight over increased status. They figure if they can make you feel or look bad, then they will have a leg up over you and think that, as a result, they now have more status than you.”

Julie asked, “Won’t they?”

Her Dad answered, “It’s all a matter of perspective. From some people’s viewpoint, it worked. That kid looks and sounds tough. But a little secret that either they don’t know or they haven’t been taught or they just plain forgot is – that beauty and special-ness comes in all shapes and sizes. We are none of us better than anyone else. We are none of us worse than anybody else. We are simply … different. We each have strengths, and we each have some areas where we have the opportunity to do better.”

Julie was only nine at the time. Now she was twelve. On that long ago day, she had asked, “So, Dad? How can I not take what they say personally?”

Mr. Johnson responded, “First of all, Julie Bean, examine what they said. Is there any truth in it? What is their motive in telling you this thing? Are they caring for you and trying to help? Or are they trying to judge you, or trying to manipulate, control, or shame you? Or do they think by trying to put you down, that they will have managed to grab a little more turf for themselves? If any of that is the case, you need to treat them with great gentleness, as if they were very sick. It is a great sickness to put other people down. It’s a disease that many people have. Putting another person down is simply a symptom of that disease. They don’t really know what they are doing; therefore, you can just gently walk away and feel compassion for their strong sense of INSECURITY and this great weakness they are demonstrating.”

Julie said, “Dad, I don’t quite get that.” Then she paused and then asked, “Anyway, how do you know all that is true?”

Just then, her older brother, Joshua, and her Mom walked into the room. Joshua said, “I didn’t mean to be listening in, but I did catch that last part. Dad, I think you should tell Julie about what your Grandma Johnson told you. That might help her understand a bit better.”

Their father smiled at his only son and said, “Josh, that’s a great idea. I had forgotten about that.”

Their mother smiled and said, “Yes, Kenny, I think that will be just the ticket. Plus, I always enjoy hearing the stories about your grandmother. Please begin!”

Julie looked on in great anticipation. She also loved to hear any of her father’s stories.

Their father gazed around the room at the eager expressions of his wife, son, and daughter. Finally, he was ready to begin. “Okay. When I was a boy of about eight or nine, there was a neighbor boy named Bubba who was always making fun of me in every way that he could think of. One day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped him and started punching him in the stomach and arms and wherever I could reach. He was about four years older than me and a lot bigger; but I think at first, I had taken him by surprise. But after the first few punches, he got over that surprise and beat me almost to a pulp. Someone had to scoop up what was left of me and carry me home. Believe you me! I was all bloody and sore!”

Julie asked anxiously, “What happened then, Dad?”

Her father said, “Well, my Grandma Johnson was the one who brought me into the house. She cleaned me up and then held me while I cried.”

Joshua said, “I don’t think you told me that part before. I didn’t know you cried.”

Their father said, “Yes, I cried. And that is totally fine. Boys and men can cry too when they need to. Granted, you might want to choose your time and place so people don’t make fun of you who might not understand. Sometimes, your body just plain old needs to let those emotions out rather than keeping them all locked up inside. It’s much healthier that way.”

Joshua nodded his head in understanding. He said, “Man! I’m glad to know that it’s okay to do that. Not that I need to cry all the time, but sometimes, it’s been the hardest thing ever to keep myself from bawling. Like when our dog got so old and in pain that we had to have him put to sleep.”

Julie asked, “Is that why you stayed in your room for so long?”

Joshua turned a bit red and said, “Yeah. I didn’t want you all seeing me with tears in my eyes. I thought boys were not allowed to cry.”

Their mother almost exploded as she exclaimed, “Nonsense! We never taught you that. When nature says let those emotions out, you just go right ahead and let those emotions out. That way, you can release them and move on with your life. Of course, like your father said, it is probably best to choose a time and a place where you are alone or with people you trust to understand.”

Their father said, “That’s right, Son. I’m glad that we cleared that up. Well, on with my story. My grandmother held me while I cried like a baby. Finally, I felt somewhat better. That’s when she told me something that I have never forgotten. She said, ‘Kenny, EVERY ACTION YOU SEE OR DO IN THE WORLD IS EITHER AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR A CRY FOR LOVE.’”

Julie asked, “What did she mean by that?”

Their father said, “I asked the very same question you did. This is how the conversation went between my grandmother and myself.”

I asked, “Grandma Johnson, what do you mean by that?’”

Grandma said, “Test it out and see for yourself.”

I asked, “What do you mean, test it out, Grandma?

Grandma said, “Kenny, when you hit the neighbor boy in revenge, were you expressing love or crying for love?”

I thought and said, “Well, I certainly wasn’t expressing love. I guess I was crying for love or understanding as I didn’t want him putting me down anymore.”

Grandma asked, “And why was Bubba trying to put you down?”

I said, “Well, Grandma, he sure wasn’t expressing love either. But I don’t see how he could have been crying for love. He doesn’t care about me at all. He probably couldn’t care less what I think.”

My Grandma just looked at me with this questioning look in her eyes. Finally, she said, “Kenny, when someone puts another person down, it is a clear sign that they are crying out for more love. Probably, somebody else has put them down and they are not getting all the love they need from that person. Therefore, they are trying to get more love or turf for themselves by putting you or anybody they can down. It is a great sickness. It’s even a highly contagious sickness. If you put them down in revenge, you are contributing to them becoming sicker and even more in need of love. It will take great strength of character in yourself, but if you can simply walk away or ask them if they need to talk about it or give them a compliment or other sign of AFFECTION on your part, they will start to recover just a little bit from this great disease they have.”

Julie interrupted her father’s story to say, “That would be really hard to do. How can you honestly give somebody a compliment who is putting you down?”

Their father laughed and said, “Julie Bean, my wonderful daughter, you and I must think very much alike, for that is exactly what I asked my grandmother.”

Julie asked, “So what did she say?”

Mr. Johnson said, “My grandmother said that what I should do was to sincerely and with actual concern and caring say, ‘Bubba, I’m not going to take offense as I can see that you are having a tough time. I really hope that things go better for you.’”

Then my grandma said, “And Kenny, if Bubba asks you what you mean by that comment, you should reply that you’ve noticed that only people who feel sad or INSECURE put other people down, so say that you are hoping his life improves for him so that he can feel happier and more SECURE. You could even ask, ‘Would you like to talk about it? I’m a pretty good listener.’ Then see if he feels like talking. If not, then walk away slowly and carefully, for he is still suffering from his disease.”

Joshua said, “Dad, I forgot. Did you try that out on Bubba?”

Their father said, “Yes, I did. The next time I saw him, I apologized for hitting him. He didn’t apologize back, but he didn’t put me down either. Then a few days later, he put me down again. This time, I smiled and said, ‘Bubba, Wow! I can tell you must be having a really tough time since you keep trying to put me down. So I’m not going to take offense at all. I kind of feel sorry for you because I’ve noticed that only people who feel sad or INSECURE put other people down. That makes me feel bad for you and I really hope your life improves for you, so that you can feel happier and more SECURE. I’d be happy to listen if you feel like telling me about it. Would you like to talk about it, Bubba?’ Bubba simply stared at me for awhile, his mouth hanging open.”

Joshua asked, “What did he say?”

Their father said, “Well, he finally said, ‘Uh, no, …, uh, …, that’s okay. I’m fine.’ But you know what? Bubba never tried putting me down again.”

Julie, who had been busy comparing her father’s story to her own situation said, “So let me get this straight. If Melissa, who’s in my class, calls me fatso again, I should somehow not let her words hurt my feelings. Instead, I should say to Melissa that I’m not going to take offense as I can see that she is having a tough time. I should tell her that I can see she is having a rough time and is probably not getting enough love from the people she cares about. I should say that I’ve noticed that only people who feel sad or INSECURE put other people down, and that I hope that life improves so that she will feel happier and more SECURE from now on. Then I should ask Melissa if she needs to talk as I’m a pretty good listener. If she wants to talk, I listen. Otherwise, I walk away. Is that right, Dad?”

Mr. Johnson said, “Excellent, Julie Bean! You remembered it perfectly.”

Julie said, “Okay, I understand what to say to Melissa and the others who seem to like to put me down, but I still don’t understand how I can keep from getting my feelings hurt when people call me names?”

Their mother asked, “Julie, dear. I heard you mention one name. What other kind of names do the kids call you?”

Julie said, “Well, they call me fat and fatso and other words like that.” Then Julie looked down at her round body and then back up to her Dad and Mom with big question marks in her eyes.

Her big brother said, “Julie, I’m not trying to be mean, but you are a big girl.”

Julie looked a little hurt and said, “Josh! Not you, too!”

Their mother hugged her and said, “Julie, my sweet! You need not be hurt. You, my darling, are not skinny like a bean pole. You are curvy and round and sturdy like a butter bean. Like your father said earlier, ‘Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, big packages as well as little packages.’ You wouldn’t be Julie if you looked any other way than the way you look right now. And I love my Julie very, very much!”

Then their father gave her a hug too and said, “That’s right, Julie Bean. Never be ashamed of the way you look. Be proud of the body you were born with. Celebrate how you look right now, for it is part of what makes you be the wonderful person that you are. I’m not suggesting that you become conceited or full of yourself, for people don’t respond well to that, but be confident in yourself that you are a big beautiful girl with a strong spirit.”

Julie complained, “But when Melissa and the other kids call me fat, it feels like an attack.”

Joshua said, “Julie, fat is just a word. Some people give that word a negative weight. You just need to work on giving that word a positive weight.”

Julie asked, “What do you mean by that?”

Joshua explained, “Well, think about it. All the commercials are based on trying to convince the American public that being fat is bad and that you should do anything to try to keep from being fat. But it is really simply another way for people to look. Like some people have blond hair and some people have black hair. And some people have green eyes and some people have brown eyes. And some people are tall and some people are short or in-between. And some people have pale or tan skin and some people have skin that is some shade of brown. Well, some people are thin and some people are chubby and some people are even bigger than that. It is none of it better or worse than anything else. It is simply different.”

Their father’s eyes shone as he looked at Joshua. He said, “Excellent, wonderful-and-wise son of mine. Where did you learn it?”

Joshua said, “From you and indirectly from your Grandma, Dad. I wish I could have known her!”

Their father said, “I wish you could have too. She died before you two kids were born.”

Their mother said, “One more thing for you kids to think about. When people attack you verbally, you are being a mirror for them. What I mean is, they put you down because they feel like they are seeing something in you that they don’t like in themselves. For instance, if someone calls you ugly, it is because they feel ugly themselves. It is a rather sick way to attack themselves by attacking you.”

Their father said, “That’s right. And if someone calls you fat in a mean way, it is because they are judging their own looks as being somehow inadequate and not good enough.”

Joshua said, “Oh, I get it! And if they criticize your clothes or hair or shoes, they are really finding something about themselves that they feel is not good enough. Like if Melissa is putting you down, Jules, then she is probably hoping if she can get everybody looking at you, they won’t notice something about her that she feels is not up to par.”

Julie said, “Okay, I think I get it now. If someone puts me down, I should be so busy feeling sorry for them that I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I should know that they are sick in a way, and I need to realize that they don’t even know what they are saying. It is simply a signal for me that the person is sick and needs some kind of help or understanding.”

Their father said, “Excellent, my very smart daughter! You’ve got it!”

Julie said, “Okay, thanks! I feel much better now.”

Chapter 3: Back to Julie’s Seventh-Grade Year

Julie sighed as she thought about that day three years ago. She would give anything to have her Dad back again, but she was so grateful for the rich memories she had of him. As Julie thought about it, she was satisfied and even proud to be Julie: Julie with a big brother Joshua, Julie with a wonderful Mom, Julie with a fantastic Dad whose memory would stay alive in her heart forever, and Julie, who was proud to be in the skin she was in. Proud to be what and who she was: big, brave, and beautiful.

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