Last night I stood in the kitchen watching two of my grown kids make spaghetti. There was some competition over preparation methods, a little friendly conversation and a great deal of good natured ribbing. It was a simple experience well worth the trouble of having kids. Of course, it hasn’t been a journey with no trials. There were many moments over the years that made me wonder if having kids was worth the effort.
Kids will try your patience. They will beg for things you can’t afford. They will question your methods and motives. They will have boundless energy just when you need some rest. They will hound you with an endless stream of inquiries about how things work. You’ll likely get very tired of the word “Why?” right around the age of three.
On the other hand: The love of a child is precious and unconditional.
Kids think they know everything. They will try to outsmart you at every turn. They will insist that you are wrong and they are right, even when the evidence is plain as day. Some will jump off roofs with umbrellas or homemade wings in a valiant attempt at flight. They will never abandon their quest to be all knowing, all seeing, super heroes.
On the other hand: You love to see them soar.
Kids are dirty and reckless. They will stomp joyfully through mud puddles. They will dye their hair pink and cut holes in their new clothes. They will finger-paint with their whole body. They will run through fields with wild abandon, oblivious of thorns and ticks. They will then sit on your nice new sofa until it’s no longer nice and new, but worn and torn.
On the other hand: They are creative and carefree souls.
Kids will force you to think, even when you don’t want to. They will insist that you listen to their theories on life and living. They will exhaust you with their outrageous fantasies of how life should be. They will wear you down with their hopes and dreams. You might think those dreams will never come true. You’ll be sad that someday they’ll be proven wrong. Of course, you don’t tell them this.
On the other hand: They give you hope in beating the odds.
Kids will grow to be authorities in their own right. They will also never let you forget it. They will come back as adults to haunt you. They will flaunt their skills. Occasionally, they will forget about you. You will slip into the background as they make their way in the world. They won’t really need you anymore. You will wish they were two again with bouncing curls and endless questions.
On the other hand: You are so proud of them, it doesn’t matter.
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