You may call me George, though I go by another name. Yet another employee complained today about our agency bully. Pretty much thought there would be no more trouble from Elaine. After giving her just about everything a bully could want, I trust she’ll work this one out with me in our common spirit of self-preservation. Never thought I’d be dealing with this again, but by now we’ve had plenty of practice.
Most times people got over or just lived with the abuse and torment where Elaine used to work. After the big Golf Tournament, something happened that changed my way of thinking about it. Can’t actually say for sure that things did happen the way Elaine says, but we have to act like we believe they did.
Just to dispel rumors, it’s different than a simple deal of sexual favors in exchange for a promotion. Furthermore, nothing violent ever happened, but in order to save Elaine’s boss and the agency from a protracted law suit and an embarrassing “media circus”, Charles Parmelat, from Human Resources intervened with a bright idea to move her to another park, Joan’s Beach, in New York City, where there was a “vacancy” for Assistant Park Director.
It was a great idea giving her a big promotion in a new work environment, to keep her mind off injuries she claimed to have “suffered” from her supposed relationship with Dave. It was certainly worth a shot. Made folks back at the Golf Course so happy, they threw a “Gone-Away Party” of their own! Even “Guido” (as co-workers nick-named the gardener) was a lot happier, although he still had occasional flash-backs whenever her name was mentioned.
Beach workers had a harder time adjusting to Elaine than we expected. Sudden obscene fits of rage, laced with Anglo-Saxon epithets, the “F” word being her favorite, caused some to flee in horror. Some even complained to the shop steward; however, he and management both knew to listen politely and then do nothing. Just a shoulder to cry on was all most whiners needed to be kept happy.
Indeed our divine Ms. “M” (or “Satan’s daughter”, as some called her) gave us all quite a run for the money. Lots of workers quit, while others took extended sick leave or early retirement packages. They could easily be replaced at the start of the new season, so Elaine actually saved us some money, which always makes an agency look good.
Real survivors gave her hell right back, once they noticed how happy she looked whenever she could torment a vulnerable co-worker. Although shouting isn’t a recommended violence prevention policy, it was the only way they could get her to shut up. Usually they’d have to sit through her sob-story about growing up ugly and despised by her family. Sometimes she’d even share before-and-after pictures of her recent nose-job.
Parmelat and I came to realize that Ms. “M” had a bad habit of inventing problems that never existed. She’d accuse someone of taking money, or give someone assignments that were impossible to complete to her satisfaction, or simply deny that work was ever performed. At times she was known to conclude that she’d have to find someone else who could do the job “right”. Unfortunately, some took this threat seriously.
Human Rights, the Insurance Fund and Workers’ Comp would usually play along with any claims of stress or PTSD and let workers vent during intake interviews or phone calls. After hearing Elaine’s side and ours, they’d usually help by declaring them to be “overly sensitive” or “irrational”. Elaine’s own explanation was that she became “frustrated” with the worker’s inability to communicate and was sorry if anyone misunderstood her comments.
It was mean to help her, but the desired result makes a psychological cripple out of anyone who files a case and thus renders them incapable of defending themselves. As management, we could gently explain away most questions by expressing pity for anyone having such strange thoughts. Empathy is a wonderful tool in the art of self-preservation. Whiners usually get over their hurt feelings. Time heals all wounds, as they say.
Mr. Parmelat, Ron (my immediate superior), and I knew we had to find just the right niche for Elaine. Leaving her at the beach too long could result in some form of real workplace violence, but she’d have to stay just long enough to complete her mandatory “satisfactory” probation to keep her raise. We assured her peers at the beach that relief would soon be in sight.
It was a sheer stroke of luck that Parmelat and others in the capital contacted Elaine to discuss moving a person of her “high caliber” to the position of Safety Officer, where she would work out of my own facility at Regional Headquarters. Of course, management knew her probation was satisfactory when she was ready to make the move. (Even though the position normally pays less, she got to keep the salary that she earned with her promotion.) At last a “win-win” situation for everyone!
There’s a strange dark humor in seeing a violence-prone worker having to regurgitate “Workplace Violence Prevention” strategies on a periodic basis, along with other safety related topics. We can’t help but snicker about it among ourselves. Everyone’s happy now. Looks like we finally found a way to tame one of our worst bullies. She’s happier too – Sticking to her new diet and donning those hot-pink stretch pants just like she used to around the Golf Course!
To set the record straight, there’s more than one way to deal with a bully, with minimal collateral damage. We doubt anyone’s committed suicide because of Elaine, at least not at work. We work hard to keep our agency profile polished and have a lot more big events coming up this year. It’s our job – our mission, to keep tax-payers happy, so that every visit is always a “walk in the park” for them.