Dealing with Difficult Teens

If you have a teenager, then you probably already know that they can, at times, be very difficult to work with. There is an old saying that says you don’t know anything about parenting until you have had to raise a teenager. I for one can attest to the challenges that teenagers bring. What, with their know it all attitude, dirty looks, and mood swings; its no wonder so many parents feel helpless when it comes to thier kids. This is a difficult age and even the best and brightest of kids can go throuogh a period of “finding themselves”. Does it make it right for them to treat you like something they stepped in? Absolutely not.

At these crossings, its important for parents to stand thier ground, fall back on the basics and stick to thier guns. Teenagers wil try everything that they can to get you to slip up or make a mistake, if for nothing else, to throw it in your face later. I know this all sounds drastic, but look at the times we live in. If we do not protect our kids from themselves, who will? Nobody.

Maybe you think “Eh, my kid can be tough at times, but its just part of growing up”. To an extent you would be right. Kids, especially teens tend to want to spread thier wings a little bit and venture into the world of adulthood. We want our kids to be self motivated, independant, and responsible. We do not want them believing that just because they turned sixteen, they now have a free pass to treat you or others disrespectfully, come and go as they please, and hold shady company. We also do not want our teens to think that they can break rules set down for them.

There are a few things that now, more than ever, that parents need to stay focused on. The first one is attitude. Our teens should be expected to treat us and others that we come in contact with, respectfully and in a manner condusive to your standards. Next is grades. If our teens grades are slipping then perhaps its time to take a look at what they are spending thier free time doing. Do they have a computer in thier room? Are tehy using it to study or chat online with friends, or possibly strangers. Is there a bullying issue that you should be aware of? If so, what side of the fence does your child stand?

One of the biggest mistakes that we as parents can make, is treating our teens as adults. Sure, allow a later bedtime, possibly a later curfew, maybe even a R rated movie now and then, but they should still have a bedtime, a curfew, chores, and other expectations such as keeping passing grades, and maybe even holding an after school job. If you lay down the rules and enforce them, your teen is more likely to conform to your expectations.

If you find your teen is unwilling to conform, than you are going to have to take the high ground and lay down the law. If they drive, take away the car. If they have a cell phone, pick it up and put it away. If they have a computer in thier room, unplug it and store it in the closet. then, allow them to process wqhat they are doing. Do not come to thier rescue, don’t “baby” them. allow them to have their space, let them give you the silent treatmnet ( as long as they aren’t being disrespectful) and Do Not chase them down if they stomp off in a huff!! This is important. When your teen is angry, let them go to their room and sort it out in thier own way. I dont mean let them break things or kick holes in the wall, but you can allow them to pout, give you the silent treatment. They will eventually come around. If they dont, hold back the priveleges and reiterate your expectations.

You can let them know that you love them, but that you are not about to put up with thier disrespect. Give them an opportunity to say thier peace, but dont try to pry it out of them. Teens will talk when they are ready. In order to keep a hold of your sanity, you must take control of your household…and your child.


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