A second colorful celebrity contestant joined Ron Artest in the No Mo’ Dancin’ club at the close of Tuesday night’s “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 week 2 results show. But before the sadly eliminated Elisabetta Canalis sent one final shimmy shake in America’s direction, entertainment was afoot in the form of a songs by The Script and Demi Lovato and plenty of professional-style hoofing. Here’s a recap devoted to every tasty morsel of elimination action.
The results show opened with a testosterone-infused little ditty by the male “DWTS” pros. Highlights included a bare-chested Val Chmerkovskiy and plenty of bump and grind. To quote Al Pacino, hoo-ha!
To appease the masses, the elimination action began seconds later with a couple of week 2’s lowest-scoring pairs: Actor David Arquette and Kym Johnson and Fashion guru Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya. And dum-da-dum: Carson and Anna were proclaimed safe to entertain again next week, while David and Kym found themselves under the oh-so-harsh glare of the red lights. Coco would not approve.
After a commercial break, “Mr. Scrunchy Face” Len Goodman called Ricki Lake and Derek Hough to the floor to perform the week’s encore dance. Ew. I still think their Jive was smarmy. And wrong. And just… disturbing.
With actual content out of the way, the season’s first silly sketch aired. Oh-so-cleverly entitled “DWTS Cribs”, the segment was hosted by various members of the celebrity cast and featured rooms found within the training facility. The studio, the kitchen, the costume room. And of course, the inflatable spa and the golf course. Cute. But can we get on with it already?
Dancing? Check. Progress toward the final elimination of the night? Check. Music? Next, as The Script performed “Science and Faith”. And yay, the return of booted “Dancing with the Stars” pro Chelsie Hightower! Love her. Oh, and Dmitry Chaplin and his chest appeared, too. Good to see them. (And the band was decent, too. Never heard of them, but nothing about their sound made me think “fingernails on a chalkboard” or “circus act”.)
Following more ads, “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 week 2’s highest scorers took to the stage to learn whether or not they’d been saved by voters to dance again. Encore hoofers Ricki and Derek were first to be declared safe, followed by reality star Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas. And surprise, surprise: Rule-benders J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff also found themselves safe. So that’s four couples safe, one in jeopardy.
And then it was time for another pre-taped segment. Oh joy. This one featured the celebs as they talked about what it’s like to face the music on elimination night. Yeah, it’s hard. It probably sucks. Can’t we just cut these clips and make the show shorter? Or have more dancing? Or something? Please? Bueller? (Yep, I know I’m talking to myself.)
Season 13’s first Macy*s Stars of Dance routine followed. It began with a bunch of women using their legs to make shapes on the floor. And then a lady in red entered and was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of well-dressed dudes. And then there were feather-waving showgirls. Between the red feathers, the lady in red and the red spotlights, I worried for a second that the whole troupe was about the be eliminated. (A joke. A bad one, but it’s the best I can do at 9:35 PM on a Tuesday. I’m old.)
Then there was another commercial break. Yawn.
Afterward, Brooke Burke-Charvet talked with hopefuls Rob Kardashian, Nancy Grace and Chaz Bono. Rob promised that a more confident Kardashian was in store for viewers, Nancy admitted she was shocked to receive an 8 for her Quickstep with partner Tristan MacManus, and Chaz said he thought his body could hold out for the remainder of the competition. And then the trio of stars and their pros herded into the ballroom to hear their fates.
Rob and partner Cheryl Burke were the first proclaimed safe to dance again, while Chaz and Lacey Schwimmer were relegated to the danger zone. Week one’s last couple standing, Nancy and Tristan, also passed safely to week three of the “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 Fall season. Not that I think she’s undeserving of making week three –because I think she is– but I’m wondering who’s voting for Nancy Grace. Who knew that “DWTS” fans were crime afficionados? Not I.
Demi Lovato made a return to the “Dancing” ballroom next with a rendition of her hit “Skyscraper”. The performance was visually different from the norm, with the singer physically in the middle of the accompanying dancers’ space. Demi always strikes me as someone who could have a strong set of pipes, but hasn’t yet really fully mastered her craft. She’s still pretty and good. But sometimes she hits the wrong notes. Sorry. It’s true.
With ten minutes to go, singer Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani, Italian personality Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy (of the show-starting shirtlessness) and soccer star Hope Solo and Val’s big bro Maks lined up to hear whether they’d be moving on to next week or in danger of taking the bus home. Chynna and Tony were first to be declared safe, followed by Hope and Maks. Elisabetta and Van were relegated to the land of the bottom dwellers.
Following one last commercial break, Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke-Charvet revealed that Chaz and Lacey were safe to dance again. Furthermore, they spilled the beans that remaining celebs Elisabetta Canalis and David Arquette were indeed the bottom two vote-getters of week two. Ooh, I smell bounceback votes for the survivor! Following the requisite dramatic music, Elisabetta and Val were eliminated from “Dancing with the Stars” 2011.
What a bummer to see Elisabetta get the boot after such a great comeback performance. Val said he was “very proud” of his partner and that he was sorry he hadn’t been able to help her stick around longer in the competition. Elisabetta called competing “a great experience”. Were life in the ballroom a fair thing, Chaz would’ve gotten the boot, but it’s a popularity contest as much as anything, and what should happen often doesn’t.
So there you have it! “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 continues October 3 on ABC with the next round of performances. Which hopeful will be the next to fall? Tune in and see for yourself. Or you can just check in with me. You know I’ll be watching.