That new German supermarket chain in Australia, ALDI, aren’t they great for shopping. Have you seen their latest catalogues; well, they are recent at the time. There was heaps of cool stuff to buy, yeah, like a ‘CSI Detective Kit for Children’. You know that tv show CSI with murders and dead bodies and stuff, of course you do. Kids will be having a field day…in the field, investigating, woops, sorry, big words for the kiddies, looking at ‘dead bodies’, or if they get desperate, which they will, anything they can find.
Man, what happened to just plain groceries at the supermarket. ALDI will be having a special day at the store where they’ll be playing ‘hide-and-seek’, yeah, finding as many dead bodies as they can find, under the oranges, behind the muesli bar stand. So much for finding the easter eggs or easter bunny (he or she is probably dead to). Mum and Dad will be asking the kids, ‘how many dead bodies did you find? Did you solve the crime scene and find the killer? Don’t forget to report it back to ALDI.’
Then you disclose some very important information to Mum and Dad – ‘Mum, Dad, I think I found who the killer is’. ‘Who, who, tell us, oh please, we are dying to find out’. ‘It…is….you mum’. ‘What, I can’t believe it. I totally deny it. I’m innocent I tell you. I, I, demand a lawyer. You’ll never hear the end of this.’ ‘Take her away, heh heh, you’re guilty until proven innocent’.
Can you imagine what this kit will do for ALDI and the TV show CSI. More customers from ALDI will be watching CSI on TV, holding their special detective kits in their hands, getting all motivated to find the next dead body and solve the murder mystery. Good luck, suburbia. CSI and ALDI will team up to…. ‘And a special thankyou to all those ALDI customers out there watching CSI tonight. We hope you enjoy your new CSI kit. Watch out for those killers on the loose – ‘oh dear, did you hear that, they mentioned us. I knew we’d become top detectives one day. Let’s have a BBQ and invite the neighbours around to celebrate hun.’ ‘Mmm, yes, and we can find fresh bodies for our kit. Ha ha. It sounds too perfect.’
Then kids will be having CSI kit withdrawals and start getting bored and restless – ‘Mum, Dad, we can’t find any dead bodies around. We want the real thing’ (what the….).’ ‘Well get out there and find some more; I’m sure there’s some dead bodies lying around somewhere. Go ask your brothers and sisters if they have seen any. I know. Why don’t you ask the police down at the local police station if they would take you along on a special case.’ ‘Oh yeah, that’s it, we’ll do that. What a great idea. But won’t they say we’re too young.’ ‘No no, you’re never too young to find a dead body, it’s all part of growing up (sounds like the Adam’s family).
Next minute some cars backfire smoke from their cars, but it sounds like a gun-shot. The ALDI CSI kit customers go off their heads – ‘quick, get to the crime scene, it’s a dead body’. In fact, they’ll have bad withdrawals where anything that remotely resembles something dead or a murder, they are onto it in a heartbeat – ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ ‘You better watch out, there might be poison in it, you might die; you can’t trust tea-making companies these days, or anybody to tell you truth. You could become the next dead body at a crime scene. But don’t worry, I’ll be there to solve your crime. Thanks to the ALDI CSI kit.’