Cohabitation: Not a Bad Idea Before Marriage

by on March 8th, 2011
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I am thinking of this topic these days because I am going through it now, with the one I love. There has been almost four months since the first day I decided to move out from home and live with him. Actually, when I told him I decided to do so and he’s not so shocked as we just started this relationship less than a month, but I did feel that this was the very wise decision that I’ve made ever before. Now I can write this and explain why it’s not a bad idea then.

First point I have to say it is a very good chance to see if you both are really meant for each other. I have a friend couple, who moved out months ago and now are living together. But the first 2 weeks when they lived together, one of them found it’s some kind of tough to understand another one’s habit as both have been in a sweet dating period which seemed everything was going well when they were dating. But living together is another thing. You have to understand and respect and sometimes make compromise when some conflicts occur. I think the most important one is to understand your partner. We all have our requests towards life, some are easy to be accepted but some are not. When you are able to understand what your partner’s need, you will have a big step forward to your both future life.

Second point I want to share is about finance problem. This does test you both are able to share the same value and keep your life going smooth in the future. I suggest those couples have a book to write down every spending shared by you both. Or you both can put a sum into a common wallet. This helps you both have better estimate to know how much has been spent in a period and better control your cash out program then. Bear in mind please that managing your money well is a wise way to managing your relationship better.

The last thing I want to emphasis is try to plan your time with your partner. Never plan your time alone and enjoy your happy hour only by yourself. This does harm your relationship! I never do this as I know it clearly that ever since you have decided to be with someone, you are not alone any more. You have to involve yourself into another one’s life, the same is involve your partner into your life. Of course you can have your time separately but you have to tell him in advance that you probably have some arrangements even he’s out of town or on a business travel for a period. When you are doing so, you are delivering the message that you are caring about him and this relationship, which he’s appreciated as well.

I am not an expertise on this topic but I am trying to managing it better step by step. I have no doubt that this is a really good chance to test if you both are really meant for each other for the rest of your life before marriage. I don’t wish the two ones find they are not so meant for each other then decide to divorce after a short period marriage which may causes a lot of social problems and personal unexpected issues. I do hope I could go through more and share more on this in the coming future.


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