The word “commitment” might not mean a whole lot to Kim Kardashian, but that didn’t stop her from making a New Year’s resolution.
Kim Kardashian, whose short and not-so-sweet marriage to Kris Humphries ended on October 31, has vowed to do things differently in 2012. The professional celebrity says she’s “moving forward and not looking back,” which makes sense since her literal rear-view is appreciably better than her figurative one.
So, what resolution has the Kimster made for the new year? The 31-year-old stated, “I think a good lesson I learned about myself is to always follow your heart, and I think I’ll never stop doing that.” Because that just wasn’t cliché enough, she added that she’s looking forward to “just having a really good 2012 and soaking in all the lessons learned in 2011. That’s it. Simple.”
Actually, Kim, we’d like to recommend that you stay off TV, not make any home movies, avoid posing for T&A magazines, and attempt to go a year without getting married or engaged. We realize that’s a tall order, but you have our support.
Though we’re not quite sure what other Tinseltown residents have resolved to do or not do in the upcoming year, that didn’t stop us from coming up with some recommendations of our own. Here’s our list of 2012 celebrity should-be resolutions.
Since she spent 2011 butting heads with fans, Giuliana Rancic, Brandi Glanville, and others, we think it’s about time LeAnn Rimes said goodbye to Twitter. While tons of celebs keep in touch with fans by tweeting, Rimes has consistently engaged in heated exchanges instead of realizing that criticism is the price you pay for fame.
She got kicked off a pumpkin patch. She straddled Santa. She went obscene for Halloween, and she then boo-hoo’d to Dr. Drew. In the six months following her ill-advised marriage to actor Doug Hutchinson, 17-year-old Courtney Stodden has continued to make headlines for being a bimbo. We’re thinking that the teenager should give up the platforms, pouty lips, sexual poses, and bleached-blond hair in favor of…school?
We don’t fault Gwyneth Paltrow for being fabulously wealthy and spoiled rotten; we just resent her assumption that she can, in any way, relate to the rest of us. Attempting to advise the masses via her blog, GOOP.com, Gwynnie has shared parenting advice, hangover cures, shopping must-haves, and her high-altitude (think rarified air) cooking tips. What’s our advice? Quit trying so hard to be hip! We don’t need to know when you’re “nursing a horrific hangover” or that you have a $15,000 bathtub in the middle of your room. In fact, we make fun of you for it.
After splitting from hubby Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson became one very busy girl for the rest of 2011. Following her hook-up with Sean Penn, the starlet was linked to Kieran Culkin, Justin Bartha, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dan White, and Jefferson Hack in the matter of a few months. Johansson was also rumored to have spent the night with Justin Timberlake in her New York apartment after the two partied into the wee hours of the morning. We’re sure that not all the rumors are true, but we think Scar-Jo would be wise to slow down a bit in 2012 and spend some time deciding who and what she wants instead of spreading herself around.
More from this Contributor:
Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson’s Most Recent Appalling Behavior
Gwyneth Paltrow Says Her Diet is ‘Like Being High’
Kim Kardashian’s Money-Making Wedding: How She Sold Her Soul
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