Are You Holding on to Relationship Resentment? Three Signs You Need to Let Go of the Past

by on February 27th, 2015
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There is nothing more difficult than letting go of past pain caused by a relationship. Whether you were cheated on, bullied, or he simply left without giving you a reason, you will always feel terrible afterwards. Problems begin when the sadness turns to resentment, and often, you may not even realize it’s there. Recently, I found some old photos of my ex, and was filled with a fleeting moment of rage at the way things ended. We haven’t been together in more than six years, I am in another, happy relationship, and yet that feeling was unmistakable. It surprised me to learn that after all this time, I am still hanging on to feelings of resentment. Here are a few signs that you may need to let go of the past.

You find it hard to stay in a relationship

When you’re ready to meet someone new, it can be very exciting. However, even with the thrill of being with someone else, you might find yourself looking for ways to sabotage the relationship. Sometimes it is simply because you know he’s not right for you, but often it is because you are still too angry to settle down. The saddest thing about taking this path is that you end up suffering more by not giving yourself a chance to love again. If you are in the midst of breaking up with someone, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, and not because you are holding on to past anger.

You get annoyed by memories of your ex

When I discovered the photos of my ex, I was genuinely surprised by how I felt. In my head, I believed I had moved on and was well and truly over all of the upset. If you find yourself feeling inexplicably irritated by memories of your former boyfriend, there are probably still some issues to resolve. Take some time out of your day to write down anything that comes to mind, because once it is out of your system, you will feel a whole lot better.

You hate happy couples

I used to have a single friend who openly loathed any couple that looked happy. I could never understand why she would wish misery on people who were enjoying their lives together. What’s the point in that? It wasn’t until much later that I learned how awful her last relationship was, and she felt that she deserved just a fraction of the happiness those couples had. While I understood her thought process, it is no way to live. Have you ever found yourself scowling at people who are loved-up? If so, stop and think about the deeper reasons why. You may be surprised to learn that you are still hanging on to past feelings.

More from this contributor:

Reasons Not to Go Back to Your Ex


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