America I Feel Your Pain

Every year 9/11 brings back all the memories, loss, pain, suffering, hardship and of course the positive support system. I always read and watch whatever I can that is related to 9/11. I need to learn how to control my tears. I have indirect connection with 9/11.

My brother from New York called that morning and asked us to turn the TV on. He was just few blocks away from the twin towers. I was with my husband and kids at home in California. We were on the phone with him while watching twin towers hit by the airplane and burn and C.O.L.L.A.P.S.E (Oh no)… At that point the phone line got disconnected and we knew that he was OK. He told us later how difficult it was to get home that day due to the conditions we saw on the TV.

All the families who suffered that day, I can feel their pain because I have gone thru the same under different circumstances. The emotional pain, emptiness, loneliness, vulnerability, financial hardship, workplace stress, and timely healthcare availability are some of the common experiences we share. I lost my both parents all of a sudden in one day and I felt like I was left alone on this earth. I don’t know how I survived. Just when I thought I had my share of tragedies for life. I was wrong; one day I lost my husband unexpectedly. I have seen my kids suffer and grew up without him. It was not easy to survive and focus. We had no choice.

We will do anything to bring them back if…only if… I have earned so many degrees in life and they all shine in our hearts with the words like “loving daughter” “loving wife and mother” “single mother” and they are all priceless!!! The worst one for me is to be called a widow (life full of tears); there is nothing good about it.

We learn to live with the pain and try to move on with life; years go by and you think you made progress, you think you have recovered, and then one day when you are sitting alone just remembering your past, it comes back to you like it was yesterday. I still remember what I was doing when I got the phone call about my parents and exactly what time it was when my husband passed away…some things even time cannot heal.

I am thankful for all the help and support we received from our family and friends. It made a huge difference in our lives. Hope you all find your own positive support system!


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