Do you remember your first puppy love crush as a kid? Many kids have their first major crush, and for many, it’s an experience they never forget. They may have never talked to the other person, but they always remember. The following is my story.
It was 6th grade when I had my first puppy love crush. I had just transferred from another school, a school I wanted to go to. When we moved, I told my parents it was the best move we ever did. In Port Charlotte, Florida, 6th grade was part of Jr High School. During this span of time, a national event was taking place, renaming schools to Middle Schools or remain a Jr High School. Our principal at the time, Mr Long, allowed us as students to vote. He explained the differences, and we voted to become a Middle School.
Along with the experience of Middle School, we changed rooms for each class, had our locker room that we visited. Being a school in Florida, our school was an outside campus, meaning we had no indoor hallways. Our particular school had pods, each grade was a square, with grass and small bushes in the middle of the square, and sunshine on some days. At first, I didn’t notice her in 4 of my 7 classes of the day. I was new to the school, and did not know anyone. It was in 6th grade that I met my best friend that I kept all through middle school, Pete. One day in social studies, we had to work in groups of 4. That’s when I met Amy for the first time. As the typical group, the girl with the neatest handwriting was always the one selected to write the notes for the group to turn in to the teacher. Amy was chosen for this. She was quiet, and smiled a lot. She had blonde hair that went down to the middle of her back, and she wore it down.
I was an awkward 12 year old, like many boys at that stage in their life. During the 90’s, kids weren’t bombarded with sex everywhere like they are this day and age. We didn’t have the internet to corrupt us, we didn’t have cell phones to constantly keep in contact with texting, and sexting, and all that good stuff. We had library books. If we wanted to know something about the opposite gender, we picked up that book in the library, then hid in the furthest corner where we couldn’t be seen, reading as much as we could, and finding pictures. In 6th grade, the 7th graders always got to that book first, so we were out of luck as 6th graders.
After that day in social studies, I started noticing her in my other classes. She turned out to be in my Social Studies, Science, English, and P.E. class. We had to change every day in P.E., after noticing her, I realized how pretty she looked. She had a great smile, she never had anything bad to say to any of the other kids. She was well liked by everyone, and didn’t have any enemies that I noticed. As the year went by, I started developing a deep crush on her. I was too scared to talk to her, or say anything. I didn’t want to get my feelings hurt. I didn’t quite understand the feelings that I had before. It wasn’t like anything I had ever had before. In elementary school, I had crushes on some girls. In fact, I still remember the names of almost all the girls I liked in elementary school. 4th grade was the hardest year for that because the girl I liked sat right behind me, and we always worked together, but it was nothing like my crush on Amy.
When we moved, the neighbors had two girls, one was my age, one was a couple years younger. I had a quick crush on the older one, but it was quickly set straight that it would never go anywhere. We were able to stay friends during the year that we lived in that house, but we never talked after that. Amanda, the neighbor girl, knew that I liked Amy. She also had this huge crush on a boy at school named Steve. One day, I had a class project where I was paired up with Steve. Amanda begged me to invite Steve over, which I did. We were friends, after all. A couple weeks after this, Amanda and I were talking about Amy and how much I liked her. The next day at school, without even warning me, Amanda talked to Amy on my behalf. After school, Amanda and I got together in her garage to play our usual game of Monopoly, and told me the news. Our games sometimes went long, there was one time, Amanda and I played Monopoly for 3 ½ hours in the garage, while it poured outside. Our younger siblings were off to the side playing Monopoly Jr.
Amanda told me that she told Amy I had liked her that day at school. She told me that Amy told her that she thought I was ok, but she didn’t like me like that and only liked me as a friend. To a boy, this can be very hurtful. A puppy love can develop quickly for many kids, and this was no exception. I was devastated by this. In 1992, my heart was broken, and remained broken for nearly 6 months. An hour later, still very upset, I had turned on the radio, and unconsciously associated the first song that I heard to the hurt feelings and experiences that I had. That song is “When a Man loves a Woman.” It was many years later that I was able to finally hear the song again, and not have the same hurt feelings that I did when I was 12 years old. I did not tell anyone for a long time that’s why I hated that song. As time progressed, my puppy love crush on Amy did fade away, but that song always brought back the emotions. There was many times where I would hear that song, and be upset for a while after hearing that song. It was a reminder of my first love, and my first heart break. To this day, that song is a reminder of that day.
I never did talk to Amy much after that. I was too hurt, and seeing her every day in class was very hard. I pulled into myself and focused on my school work. I did manage to get straight A’s for the rest of the school year. To this day, when I hear that song, I still remember my first puppy love, how much I liked her, and how much I was hurt by her. I would have loved to have gotten to know her, to be her friend, I never allowed the opportunity to happen. Everyone has their story of their first puppy love. It’s not to be mistaken for true love. Most kids think that their puppy love crush is true love. While both can be very strong feelings, at that age, it’s very confusing. There is so much going on, changes happening, but that’s a different story in itself. As for me, do I regret choosing this girl to be my first puppy love? Absolutely not. I will remember her until I die. In my mind, she was the most beautiful, nicest girl I knew and I couldn’t have picked a better girl to be my first puppy love.
**This story is based on a true experience. Names have been changed.