I love me some Facebook. I have a healthy social media curiosity and I’m always especially curious when it comes to people from my past. From time to time I wonder about What’s Her Face from high school or how So-And-So’s wedding/baby/plastic surgery turned out. It’s fun doing a little investigative work on people I’ve lost touch with. I’m friends with such a variety of people online, but there is a select group that remain banned from my Facebook friend list: The Exes.
There are very few legitimately good reasons why your Ex should be your Facebook friend. To those who may doubt me, here are the top five reasons why you need to unfriend your Ex on Facebook. Now.
1. It’s counter-productive: A breakup is called a breakup for a reason. You or your significant other decided that a romantic relationship was just not working out. If you are broken up with someone, does it make sense that you still know all the little details about their day-to-day life? No, it doesn’t. You shouldn’t be all up in this person’s business anymore. The more you snoop, the harder it will be to move on. Give yourself a chance to heal and don’t make things worse by being consumed with your Ex’s online musings.
2. It will make you crazy: If you are still friends with your Ex on Facebook, you will constantly over analyze everything they post about. Why does he look so happy in his new profile picture?? Was that Coldplay song lyric he posted about me?? Who is this tramp posting on his wall?? Most people look for answers after a break-up, but you’re not going to find them on Facebook. Obsessing over every status update, check-in, and game of Farmville will not bring you any closer to finding closure. Why upset yourself with speculations about everything your Ex does online? It’s not worth it.
3. It’s not real: Facebook has a funny way of making the virtual world seem like the real world. News Flash: it’s not. On Facebook, your Ex may seem like they’ve got it all together. They have 2,000 friends, their profile pictures have never been hotter, and they’re checking in at all the cool hangouts. You start thinking, “Why did I ever break up with them in the first place?” Don’t believe the lies, my friend! Everyone looks better on Facebook and your Ex knows that. They also know that you are probably still keeping tabs on them, so stop giving them the satisfaction.
4. It’s shady. If an Ex is trying to reconnect with you on Facebook after a lengthy period of time, be suspicious. They are more than likely just getting out of a relationship with someone else and are finding themselves single and ready to mingle online. Steer clear of the Exes who pop up out of nowhere claiming they want to “catch up.” Your newly single Ex is using their Facebook friends list as a virtual Little Black Book and their intentions to turn you into a Facebook booty call are not OK.
5. It’s disrespectful: To those who are in a committed relationship and are still friends with their Exes on Facebook: there is no reason you need to be involved with your Ex on Facebook if you are in a happy and healthy relationship with someone else. Leave the past in the past where it belongs. If you are constantly tempted to message your Ex or creep on their page, then you may want to reconsider your current relationship. Everyone gets curious, but don’t jeopardize your great new romance by keeping your former flame as a Facebook friend. Your Ex won’t miss you if you unfriend them and you shouldn’t miss them.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but having your Ex as a Facebook friend usually leads to no good. Use Facebook to live in the moment, not in the past.