Let’s step back for a minute and think about what happened to people coming to a mutual agreement of matrimony. I think that although men and women are completely different beings, they still have the same reasons for not wanting to get married. Their freedom and the right to walk away at any time.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone complain that they are ready to settle down and get married, but the other party is unwilling. The reasons for the unwillingness really confuse me as well.
It’s hard to understand why a woman would be so unwilling to get married to a man she claims to love. But, yes it is true, many women will not settle with a man if:
1. he is unstable financially
2. has children
3. has an ex-wife that is chummy with his family
4. that hasn’t proposed properly
5. or that proposes and never gives a ring
6. hangs out with his friends from the past and still behaves like he is in high school
7. that frequently has a career change
Gosh shall I continue?
There are many reasons women love their freedom and the option to change their mind at any time, without all the legalities of getting divorced. In fact most women state that after divorcing they are not in a rush to remarry. Throughout their previous marriage they stated that they lost themselves in the relationship but after the divorce remembered great things they forgot they loved, gained new friendships, new hobbies, enjoy spending time with their children and greatly appreciate their alone time.
Just as hard as it is to understand why a woman won’t marry while claiming to be in love, it’s even more mind boggling why a man will not propose to a woman he claims to be madly in love with. Is it the fact that possibly:
1. he thinks the grass may be greener on the opposite side
2. he thinks that his friends are much more fun as well as his freedom
3. it’s easier to walk away at any time without the high cost of divorce
4. he doesn’t want to divide his earnings or material assets
5. he hates the idea that a woman just waltzed in the door and made herself at home and took over his castle
6. he is not eager because he feels pressured by the woman continuously bringing up the marriage matter or the fact that her time clock is much more like a time bomb ready to explode
Are you getting the message yet? Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me, how about you?
It’s my experience that when you are in love there is no right or wrong time. It just happens naturally. You won’t feel unloved if you are loved, or have so many questions. Both man and woman will eagerly embrace marriage when both equally love each other. It won’t be a discussion turned into argument either.
The problems and uncertainty arise when either partner is not completely in love with the other person. Let’s say they love things about that person and sharing their time with that person but not entirely in love with them. Come on if you have a live in partner that does everything you need them to do especially for you men, if she cleans, cooks, sexually pleases you, pays part of the bills, and gives you everything you need, why bother marrying her. She makes things so easy that there is no need for effort.
And for you women that have your live in men, why bother getting married when you have someone paying the bills, mowing the lawn, washing the cars and running your errands as well as sexual intimacy. You can have all that and not marry him?
Well there you go for both parties, you jumped into the roles of marriage without allowing the other person to knock you off your feet, or to allow you to have an interest in learning more about one another. There is no longer that desire to win the other person over.
I say why bother spending a dime on a wedding when you already live as husband and wife without the wedding? Why bother planning a honeymoon when you have free intimacy nightly? Why bother winning your partners heart or making the other person desire you? A willingness to do great things for each other is great but when its demanded, argued about or expected you will start to realize that you are in a cycle that is going nowhere quick.
I believe that when a man loves a woman, he will climb to the top of a mountain and shout out his undying love for her to anyone that can hear him. He will walk into the first store and buy that ring at whatever the cost, he will find a way. I believe that he will propose in the most romantic way he can imagine to keep that woman in his life.
I believe that when a woman loves a man, she will climb along side her man to the tip top of a mountain and shout down to the world that she is in love to anyone that will listen. She will accept her partners love, his proposal and no matter how small or large the ring is her heart will swell with passion and yes will be her answer. I believe that no matter how he proposes or where he does it, she will believe it is the most romantic thing ever. Because true love isn’t about excuses.
True love is about spending the rest of your life with the person you are in love with. So no matter if you have been married previously and it didn’t work out. If you have a time bomb oh wait a time clock, if there are children involved or an ex, or what your next career move is, you will want to share your life with that person. You will want to combine your earnings, your material and liquid assets. You will gladly take all roles and share them with your partner, if indeed it is love.
If it isn’t there will always be an excuse and that word “marriage”, will continue to be a “bad” word as well as a deadly disease you are trying to avoid catching.
So make sure you are not being forced into something or forcing someone into something they are not ready for. Make sure if you are a woman that your man will climb mountains for you and if you are a man that your partner is eager to climb alongside you.
Don’t be someone’s time being, be their forever!