It can seem difficult, if not impossible, to teach a child how to be responsible. After all, how can you expect a child who can barely tie their shoelaces how to be responsible? It might not seem easy, but there are many things that you, as a parent, can do to instill a sense of responsibility in your child.
Make them clean their room
Of course, you likely won’t have luck trying to persuade a six-month-old to clean up his toys, but once your child is old enough to walk and begin to communicate (sometime around the age of one), start making them clean up their toys. Cleaning up toys doesn’t have to feel like a chore, but your child will learn that when he or she makes a mess, they are responsible for cleaning it up. This lesson will likely be applied to other areas of their lives as well, later down the road.
Add responsibilities slowly
Never overwhelm your child with responsibilities and chores suddenly. He or she is likely to feel overwhelmed and lost. As your child ages, slowly begin adding other chores to their responsibilities. My children, for example, each have their own responsibilities. Both of them are expected to keep their toys cleaned up and their laundry in the hamper. My four-year-old, however, is expected to help feed the cats and put silverware away in the drawer. My two-year-old hasn’t exactly mastered keeping his toys cleaned up, so we haven’t added any new responsibilities to his list. Make sure that your child has mastered one task before adding a new one, or it may be difficult (and unrealistic) for him to keep up with his new responsibilities.
Don’t rescue them.
Kids can be manipulative. Every parent knows their children are master manipulators, but few like to admit it. Some even second guess that their child is being manipulative. Every kid has it in them, and as a parent, you should never give into the games. If you expect your child to pick up their toys, and instead, they throw a fit on the floor about how had it is for three hours, don’t give in and do it for them; this is what they want. It can be difficult, but you aren’t doing your child any favors by caving and allowing them to skate out of their responsibilities. This could lead to poor behavior later in life.
Let them suffer the consequences
It may be difficult to let your kids suffer as a result of their own actions, but this is a very important part of the learning process. If your child knows they need to do something, but they don’t understand why they need to do it, it likely won’t feel very important. For example, my daughter was horrible about taking her shoes off in the car. I’d spend a day running errands and every time I’d go to get her out of her car seat, her shoes were lying on the floor, with the laces completely pulled out of them. It was frustrating to say the least and I was fed up with spending 5-10 minutes relacing and putting her shoes back on her at every stop. I made her walk into the house barefoot, through the snow after one especially frustrating trip. She never took her shoes off in the car again, and any time she seemed as though she might, I would remind her, “Do you really want to walk in the snow without shoes?”
Be a good role model
Lastly, the best way to teach your child responsibility is by being a good role model. If you are irresponsible and don’t have to suffer the consequences of your own actions, your child is likely to do and expect the same. If you feel your child is irresponsible, take a look at your own behaviors and actions to see if adjustments need to be made.
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