Once it is clear why marriage is important and Who ordained it, the entire wedding ceremony takes on added meaning. The vows in particular take on a significance that would be difficult to overstate.
When you read the end of Genesis 2, you see the very first wedding ceremony performed, and it was performed by God Himself. When you get married, it is before God. These days, lawyers and those who refuse to believe what the Bible says want to redefine marriage as a civil contract. While the secular governments in some countries tend to offer some benefits to those who are recognized as married in their eyes, it is not a strictly secular institution. Marriages around the world are most often performed by religious leaders because there is a recognition of the sanctity of the institution. It is an institution created by God, recognized by God, encouraged by God, sanctified by God and performed in God’s presence.
That makes it more than a contract. Marriage is a commitment, but it is much more than a commitment. Marriage is a covenant relationship! In Genesis 15, we see an example of a covenant being established between God and Abram (later renamed to Abraham). Abram sees a vision where a torch passes up and down between animals that were cut in half in preparation for a sacrifice. Symbolically, God was saying that if He did not fulfill His part of the covenant, He would be like the animals (cut in half). Naturally, this is not possible, but it shows the seriousness of a covenant!
Perhaps the most famous phrase in what is commonly thought of as the wedding ceremony may be “Till death us do part” (taken from the Book of Common Prayer). Yet, in a day and age when half of all marriages will end in divorce, it is easy to be cynical about this. How can people stay married until one of the spouses dies? Is there permanence in a society where everything is disposable, including marriage?
It once was taken for granted that people would stay together until death parted them, though. Granted, life was hard, and death was just as likely to come sooner than we expect it today, but is that the sole reason? I think not!
No, it is much more likely that the very secularization of marriage is what has caused the breakdown of marriage. Adam and Eve were married soon after they were created – on the very same day even. Adam was created but his being alone was “not good”. God created Eve, and then He instituted marriage. He performed the ceremony.
Questions: Is God invited into our wedding ceremonies today? Is God made a partner in the marriage afterwards, even until the death of one of the spouses?
When there is no accountability before God for our wedding vows, how we treat our spouse afterwards or how we behave within the marriage, then our carnality is allowed full reign within the relationship rather than God’s spirit of love. The marriage devolves into two individuals feeding off of each other, and sooner or later one or both runs out anything to feed the other. God, however, has infinite power and resources, and turning to Him can feed both sufficiently within the marriage and allow them to give to one another rather than take and devour each other.
Let’s get something straight, however. We often think of the “wedding vows” themselves simply as “till death us do part”. First of all, that is not the entire vow. It is one part of the vows, but that really is the goal. How do you reach that goal? By fulfilling all of the other duties you are swearing before God to perform!
Can you really live with someone until the parting of death if they do not love you? If they do not honor (respect) you? If they do not cherish (view as valuable) you? Perhaps you can live together without these things, but is that a “marriage”?
How do you get to the “death us do part” without a divorce? In part, you keep your vows to love, honor and cherish the other, and they keep their end of the bargain. However, sooner or later, you will let each other down. Therefore, it is paramount that God be an active presence in your marriage in order to fill in the gaps. Because gaps will occur!
The wedding vows, the entire vows, are being made in the presence of God. It is a covenant relationship, and that is the needed frame of mind needed to make it truly “till death us do part”.