The End of Times

by on October 25th, 2010
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I woke up this morning and knew in my heart that something special was about to happen. Ever since new years day 2012, I knew that something, or somebody was tightening the cosmic strings that held our earth together. I knew it when the television broadcast the 7.6 magnitude earthquake live from downtown Chicago. I watched along with millions as the windy city burned and burned. I was amazed as F.E.M.A. stood idly by, letting the injured die, starve, and most horrific of all was the reality series the earthquake spawned. I never knew such tasteless, barbaric producers could broadcast such misery.
While Chicago wasted away, terrorists were easily able to detonate 25 lbs. of C4 at the Washington monument, and the White House. I grew nervous, the country grew nervous, the world became nervous. When the President of the United States held the press conference about the impending meteor strike sometime in November or December, I too panicked as did millions upon millions of citizens all over the planet. The President was brief, yet he assured his fellow American’s that America would survive. Sure, he might survive in a bunker somewhere. What kind of life would living in a bunker be? I decided it wouldn’t be much of a life, so while most people quit their day jobs, withdrew all of their money from the bank, started building their bunkers, and even stealing and looting the stores, I remained calm.
I was brushing my teeth this morning when the first meteor hit. The impact left a crater ten miles wide and one thousand feet deep in what was Yankee stadium. I’m sure that Red Sox fans were thrilled. I sat in my chair all morning. I finally got up when I heard glass shatter in my kitchen. A gang of looting, weapons toting thugs looked at me as if I were crazy. The television blaired away and I could only smile when the reporter announced the next meteor would hit less than twelve miles from my home. I laughed and laughed like a maniac as the thugs turned and ran. Where and what were they going to do? So then it was time for the impac…………….

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