The Bittersweet Senior Year

Every year, a new high school class prepares for graduation. Although this capstone year is full of exciting times―sporting events, awards and recognition nights, the senior class trip, senior tag or skip day, prom―it is also a tremendously bittersweet time for parents and their children. It’s a time of reflection and preparation for the next chapter of life, which can be scary and thrilling simultaneously.

To help make the most of this special time, here are ten suggestions from someone who has been there more than once.

Carry a camera at all times. It goes without saying to take your camera to an awards banquet, but there are lots of candid moments taking place with friends that will mean a lot to your child later. Capture them with a good-quality camera, not just your cell phone, and print a few photos. They will become treasures. Loosen the reins a bit. If you have been a particularly strict parent, now is a good time to allow a little leeway in your child’s routine so he or she can learn to trust his or her instincts and decision-making skills. Maybe curfew can be extended on the weekends, or perhaps your child can use the car to travel to a concert or other event that is outside the normal driving limits that you allow. Foster more independence. Soon enough, especially if your child will be going off to college and living on campus, you no longer will be the one making all the decisions. It will be up to your student to go to bed on time, to eat properly, and to attend class or get to work when scheduled. Have confidence: You have done your job by teaching the right things, but now it is up to your child to actually DO the right things. Bite your tongue once in a while.
Carry tissues. You will need them. Rebuild your relationship with your spouse. If all of your focus has been on your children for the last 18 or more years, now is a good time to return some of your attention to your spouse. When your child has Saturday night plans, the two of you can take advantage of that and do something that you used to enjoy as a couple. See friends. Go places. Talk to each other about future plans and current events. Everyone benefits when the parents are happy. Make time to attend all events whenever possible. This is a no-regrets policy. Your child has only one senior year. Be there to offer support and cheer him or her on. Even if it seems like your child doesn’t care about your attendance, he or she does. Everyone wants to feel loved and special. Express your feelings in a positive way, and be open to hearing your child’s as well. Yes, you are probably sad that the child-rearing chapter of your life is drawing to a close, but you have done your job. Now it’s time to let him or her fly, just as you did many years ago. You can let your child know that you are sad in some ways about this, but you need to temper this with enthusiasm as well or you are going to create guilt and fear. This is not helpful to anyone. Help your child prepare for the next step. This is an admission. When our first child was ready to leave home for college, we suddenly realized about two weeks beforehand that he did not have a debit card or a way to get money in his new location. He received his new debit card in the mail three days before leaving for college, so he had almost no opportunity to practice using it. Don’t let this be you. Plan, plan, plan. Help look online for items and information they will need, and gather them well in advance. Ask your friends for tips. It’s not too early to start thinking about this. Consider how the cell phone should be used. When their child receives a driver’s license, some parents begin with good intentions by having their son or daughter call on the cell phone every time he or she is about to leave to go someplace and again upon arrival. This might set your mind at ease at first, but eventually this must stop. Now is a good time. That way, you both learn to trust that everything will be okay. Request a call only if some extenuating circumstance suggests it, such as icy roads. Anticipate this answer: “I will if I can remember.” This is good; it means your child is not focusing solely on you. Enjoy every moment. You are building special memories.


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