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Question
I was with my child’s mother for six years. She didn’t know I was living with another girlfriend and a child. When she found out, she tracked my girlfriend down and told her everything. For that I texted her, threatening that I would get her one day. She reported it to the police and I was warned. I never got involved with the child, but my wages are being garnished for support. I know my ex doesn’t want anything to do with me, but it’s been three years. If I take her court, will I get access to my child?
Answer
I don’t have the slightest idea. And frankly, anyone else trying to answer this question without a lot more facts than you’ve provided doesn’t know any more than I do. The police and the courts take threats very seriously. Yes, it’s been three years. But the passage of time does not guarantee you a second chance. It will depend on the laws in your jurisdiction, the mood and attitude of the judge, details about your conduct and the conduct of your ex over the last three years, and potentially a host of other issues.
You need a lawyer to help with this one. Nobody without both a law degree and experience working on custody cases in your city will give you legal advice worth taking.
But while I don’t provide legal advice, I will offer an opinion on another aspect of your situation. First, your sending of a threatening text suggests both a bad temper and bad judgment. Perhaps you’ve matured since taking that foolish step. But I can’t attest to that.
Second, you can expect your ex to remember your threat and fight very hard to keep you away from your child. Is that a wise course of action? Again, I can’t say. But given your history, you should expect nothing less, and I cannot fault her for making a stink.
Third, even the sanitized version of the story that you presented in your question makes me nervous about your fatherly qualities. Anyone else hearing that story – particularly the more pointed rendition your ex will tell – will have doubts about your fitness as a parent. Don’t get angry about this or claim unfair treatment. The facts as you have given them don’t paint you in a good light. Be prepared to prove that you have demonstrably changed over the last three years. If you cannot do this, a sensible judge will probably not grant you custody, and possibly not even visitation.
Question
I recently flew to Paris and had the worst experience with a kid. I have two children, ages 8 years and 8 months. My kids are used to flying and remained quiet – until the kids behind us started to act up. They started kicking, then screaming, disrupting an overnight flight. I politely asked the dad to control his monsters, and he said that was the flight attendant’s job. His kids then jumped the seat and started poking my kids while they slept. I called the flight attendant and threatened a lawsuit, then they changed my seat. All while the dad was laughing. What is wrong with parents these days?
Answer
That’s not a parenting problem. It’s a jerk problem. Unfortunately, jerks are everywhere, and many of them have children
On a plane, you can do little to stop other people’s conduct. With everyone packed into a flying cigar, nobody can escape the disruption. When the parents refuse to act in a civilized manner and control their children, your only real option is to call the flight attendant. For practical purposes, attendants don’t have much more power than you to affect the conduct of obstreperous children. But sometimes the authority of the airline uniform can make a difference.
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