Kelly’s Secret Friend

“Kelly, you didn’t wake me last night.” Sarah said. “Mommy, I told you, my friend stayed with me last night when I awoke from the pain.” She said you were so tired you needed a little extra rest tonight.” “She is really special, and pretty too.” “Kelly, you know you can wake Mommy anytime night or day.” “I am never to tired for you, baby.” “I know Mommy.” Kelly said.

Sarah thought about what Kelly said, wondering if she might have noticed how tired she had been lately. Although her Mother helped her when she could, Sarah still seemed to be more tired than usual. Well, this wasn’t the first time that Kelly had a pretend friend.

Kelly was a bright 7year old with an exceptional sense of humor. Her smile and laughter would light up a room. Unfortunately Kelly developed Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Rheumatoid arthritis is a horrible disease for an adult, but for a child to endure, it seemed so unfair. At first Sarah was angry and depressed. She hated seeing her precious little girl have to go through everything that having this disease entailed. After joining a support group for Mothers and children, she began to adjust, as did Kelly. It helped both of them to be around people who really understood.

The problem with this disease is that children lose out on their childhood, unless the disease goes into remission. The medications are harsh as are the side effects. One of which is weight gain only causing the disease to feel worse since it adds more pressure on the bones. Sarah felt like her little girl had no way out. So Kelly spent more time alone than most children. She loved school although it wasn’t “regular school.” This was a special school for handicapped children with people who understood their needs. There was also a nurse on staff for the children that had to have meds before going back home.

After work Sarah went by her Mom’s to pick up Kelly. “How much longer Mommy, I want to get home in case my friend comes to see me.” “Honey, I am sure your friend will come back if we are not home.” “I know Mommy, but she is so special. Will you be sad if she sits with me at night when I am hurting? She helps it feel better.” “I guess it is okay honey, but you do know that it is okay for you to wake me anytime. “I’ll buy some new vitamins,” she said lightly, trying to be sure Kelly was not worrying about her.” She was very sensitive to other peoples’ needs. Sarah wondered if that was because of her own affliction giving her empathy for others. Kelly laughed at her Mother and said, “you better.”

That had been 2 weeks ago and since then Kelly was much less dependent on her Mother. She also had not been waking her Mother near as often as before. Sarah knew that there were nights that she had to put ice bags on Kelly’s knees or other parts of her body for pain. Had she been getting them herself? Trying to take some of the pressure off of Sarah. She had talked to Sarah about her being tired after work and how she hated that her Mother had to care for her so much. Sarah tried to make her understand that a Mother would do anything for their child and how special she was. Maybe she needed to talk to the therapist at the school to see if Kelly had mentioned anything to anyone there.

At dinner that night Sarah talked to Kelly trying to find out why she was alone so much lately. “Mommy, I am not alone. I have my friend, Celeste. Don’t you remember?” “I do honey, but I am worried about you.” “You know you are 7 now and I understand you get lonely not being able to be out with the other children, but maybe you should not dwell so much on this special friend.” Kelly became very upset, which was out of character for her. She started to cry because Sarah did not believe her. Sarah knew then that she should set an appointment for her daughter with the therapist. After all, she was almost 8; much too old to have an imaginary friend.

Kelly agreed to go but told her Mother that she was hurt that she was asking this of her.

Later that night Sarah felt so bad, so frustrated at this horrible disease, she broke down and cried for the first time in 3 months. She had been doing so good until this problem. Oh, well, she thought, there are always going to be problems, even if your child is healthy. She must not let herself get back into the anger and depressed mindset she had been in last year. Kelly had seemed like she was doing better lately. She decided to be thankful for whatever she could. If only this ugly disease would just go away. But that is not going to happen, she thought.

Later that night Kelly called her Mother in and was so excited. “Mommy, Celeste told me I was going to get better soon.” “Oh, honey. I hope you get better soon, but please don’t get your hopes up like that. You know what the doctors have said,” “there is a possibility of remission but we haven’t seen any signs of that happening.” “You don’t understand Mommy, Celeste would not lie to me.” “Honey, Sarah said gently, “you cannot get so engrossed with your imaginary friend that you start imagining other things. You are going too far.” Again Kelly was upset. She tried to explain that her friend was different. She needed to see her for herself. She couldn’t understand why her friend had not visited her Mother also.

That night when Kelly awoke Celeste was on the side of the bed. She ask her why she had not come when her Mother could see her. Celeste was only a little thing but she was so smart. She told Kelly that she had been sent to help her get through this and help her get better. Kelly didn’t, want to act like a baby so she did not say any more about her Mommy.

Later that night as her Mother was sleeping she was having a beautiful dream. She was in her yard looking at her flowers and this beautiful little Angel ran out from behind one of the bushes giggleing. Sarah said, “what is your name?” The little girl said “Celeste,” and continued to run and play. She looked to be no more than 3 years old. When she awoke, she remembered the dream well. But it couldn’t be. It had to be just because she had the whole situation on her mind when she went to bed. She got up anyway and went in to check on her daughter. There in the bed lay the cute little Angel she had seen in her dream. She had gotten in front of Kelly and wrapped her little chubby arm and hand around Kelly’s waist hugging her up as best she could for such a small thing.

Fiction:Patricia Burke


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