“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” : Thanksgiving Menu

by on March 7th, 2015
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Since there will be plenty of the traditional turkey on and sitting around the table this Thanksgiving, the Kardashian /Jenner sisters’ submitted special signature side-dishes, surely served by servants on shiny silver service sets. Solely to sell their story, as most people will be too busy eating and watching football to tune in to their show, the Kardashians share some simply splendid surprises of the spread surely set up to satiate and satisfy the set-up slugs. In fact, the K’s will be spying the skins as well to scout out short-lived suitors or simply, stupid sperm suppliers scammed to seed subsequent shams. Kris Humphries was not invited.

Thufferin’ Thukardash

This corny dish, made with maize fresh from the stalk, contains a mixture of beans and other inexpensive vegetables as it was originally created during the Great Depression-the one in 1929. The always-humble Kardashians felt that although they make millions doing nothing and spend it all on themselves, they wanted a dish representing the less fortunate 99% of Americans suffering during the current Depression, at their bountiful table. After all, it is the common-folk viewers that boost their ratings.

Stringbean Karkashinyourole

Best prepared a year in advance, this delicacy, made with seven-foot string beans, served mainly in club-level restaurants at NBA arenas, and several secret cheeses, appreciates like a fine wine. This dish only stays fresh for 72 days after serving and then must be discarded. The good news is that since it contains the mystery cheese, you can sell the tell-all recipe to highest bidder such as a cable network or fanzine. Looks like Kris Humphries will be trying to put $10Million worth of greens on his plate–somewhere else.

Kable TV Special KKKKK

This konfection is konkocted from krispie, krunchy, karamel-koated kornflakes. Kandied kreations kontain kountless kalories keeping Kardashian kurves kurvacious. Kaution: Kiddies krave KKKKK, so kurb konsumption and be kareful koncerning kavaties.

Drooler’s Dressing

This is a breaded stuffing, chopped turkey, and gravy mixture pureed into a liquid. The girls confess Momager Kris Jenner came up with this fantastic solution for holiday meals consumed by those who cannot open their mouths due to face-lift recovery, recent Botox injections, or broken jaws due to a brawl one may encounter when out with brother and step-bro, Brody Jenner, and galpal, Avril Lavigne.

Gravy Train, Gravy Boat, Car, Bus, Plane….

This Kardashian accoutrement is offered to anyone at anytime. Thanksgiving is the best time to put it on one’s plate as if you’ve encountered the K sisters or any of their familitourage and you have proof, it doesn’t matter if the story is real or the photo is grainy. As long as you were keeping up with a K, you have a lot to be thankful for. Spoon a little gravy into your apron by announcing you were the waitress who warmed up Mason’s bottle; give up your private parts pix snapped at the K’s fave bikini wax palace where you’re a laundress; or guarantee a whole lotta sauce will be poured into your pockets by mating with a K-even if it’s just hot for just 72 seconds.

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