Michele Bachmann. First off: She’s still running? But wasn’t she born in Canada? I haven’t seen a birth certificate to the contrary. Why hasn’t she presented her birth certificate proving she was born in this country? What does she have to hide? All I want is the Truth. Regarding the details of her place of Birth. I’m a Birther Truther.
Her great strength is that she really does believe what she says, at least while she’s saying it. Her eyes are the vacant pools of the true believer. When matched up against a bogus Loud Prayer guy like Rick Perry, she looks legit. (Loud Prayer Christian: “Look at me! I’m praying! See? I really am a Christian – really!” Also known as Display Behavior Christian, or Christian of Convenience, who want only to convince the evangelicals they really do believe that old-timey stuff.) The real Christians sniff out her True Believer cred and attach themselves to her like limpets on the Rock of Rages.
She oozes vitriol. She seethes with hatred. She hates the gays, the dark folk, and anyone to the left of Ann Coulter. You see it in the clench of her lip and the jack-booted crowd control techniques of her “staff.” She connects with the rage of the right, always resurgent when a Democrat is in the White House, magnified a thousand-fold when that Democrat is dark skinned.
Her weaknesses are numerous and severe, though they might not hurt her in the primaries of the New Republican Party, taken over as it’s been by the Birchers and the Birthers. She’s nuts. She doesn’t know anything. Most Americans – some of them even Republicans – wouldn’t feel good about her having the access codes to the nation’s nuclear arsenal – though the millennialists among us will consider her stewardship of destruction as evidence of God’s will.
Her greatest weakness? Her husband.
Marcus Bachmann is another of those puffy, effeminate Republicans who have reproduced like worms in the past decade, from Larry Craig to Lindsey Graham to Karl Rove, the lisping doughballs of the right, decrying homosexuality with an incessant fervor that really makes you wonder: Why do they spend so much time thinking about this?
It’s a matter of time – he will sink her ship, if she doesn’t blow it up herself.
Bachmann vs. Obama, should she pull out a primary win:
Obama 5-1 favorite. She might as well pick Christine O’Donnell for a running mate and crash her campaign in righteous madness. Amen.