School-aged children of all ages can have their moments where discipline is needed. Sometimes notes come home from the teacher explaining something in which your child has done wrong for that day. If you are lucky, these notes are few and far in-between. No matter how often your child gets into trouble, it is important to evaluate your parenting techniques often. As parents, we all understand that children make mistakes. It is our job to implement proper discipline for ill behaviors, while also teaching our children to make better choices for the future.
Gentle Discipline Does Not Mean Letting Your Child Get Away
While some people may have the misconception that gentle discipline allows your child to walk all over you, this is not the case. Gentle discipline is about communicating with your child about the bad choice in which they made. By removing your child from the situation and taking them somewhere quiet where you can discuss the issues, you are allowing your child to learn the proper way to communicate through a problem. Some parents may turn to more aggressive ways of discipline, such as through spanking. Studies show that these aggressive manners can easily rub off on the child, causing them to be aggressive during their own moments of anger. By teaching our child how to properly manage a crisis, we are in turn setting them up for being the best possible adults they can be in the future.
Temporary Restrictions
You may find that the best way to teach your child to make better choices is by restricting them from something they enjoy. This does not mean that your child has to go on a total lockdown. By taking away a favorite video game system for the weekend, or by restricting the use of television, you are gently reminding your child that this type of action cannot be repeated in the future. Two days of this type of restriction is usually enough for a child to get the point that they did wrong. It is also helpful to remind the child why the restriction was put into place, and how they can prevent themselves from having further restrictions in the future.
Have Your Child Make a Good Choice for Every Bad Choice
Ask your child to come up with ideas as to how they can make up for the bad choice in which they made. Perhaps they can write a letter to a friend whose feelings they hurt. Or, perhaps they can ask their teacher for ways they do can extra work in the classroom or after school. By teaching your child to participate in a positive action for every negative choice, you are teaching the importance of setting things right when mistakes have been made.
Walk through the Scenario Again with Your Child
Take the time to sit down and talk about the event that occurred. Have your child re-tell the story in his own words from start to finish. Then, ask your child questions about the event as to who was involved, and why your child thinks they responded the way they did. After this, walk your child through the scenario again, this time talking about the more positive ways in which they could respond in the future. By going through the scenario with your child, you are able to teach them better methods for coping with their impulses, should the event happen again. Not only will your child be more prepared in the future, yet they will be on a better path for learning how to make better choices, on their own.