Dealing with Divorce and Custody Issues: What to Do when You’re Ex Has Too Many ‘Friends’

For most people divorce is a traumatic experience to go through. Everyone handles the experience differently. Many people feel the best way to move on from a relationship is to quickly jump into a new one. Some people console themselves and try to bury the pain of a previous relationship by starting a new one. Unfortunately, this rarely results in happiness and usually always develops into a rebound relationship. As a parent, and despite the pain, you have children to consider. There is no longer the luxury of making decisions to jump into a new relationship without considering how this could affect your children.

As a parent, your children should always be considered first when making big decisions. There should not be a revolving door of new people coming in and out of their lives, especially if they’ve just gone through the breakup of their parents. What can you do when you’re ex has too many “friends?”

If your ex is dating several people and bringing them around your children, introducing them as “friends,” this can be very confusing for kids. Do you have any rights to keep this from happening? It really depends. Courts usually will guard against such behavior by ordering no overnight visits for live-in arrangements, unless the parent is re-married. However, it varies from situation to situation. If you have a positive relationship with your ex and feel comfortable speaking to them about this then it is encouraged to do so. It is always better to try to communicate with each other first, before bringing in outside parties to help the matter.

However, if you cannot come to an agreement, then perhaps going to a mediator will help both of you get what you want. Mediation is a great idea, especially in cases of child custody and divorce because a third party will help you both constructively come to an agreement. It only works however, if you are both willing to go to mediation and agree to give the process a try.

If your ex is irresponsible or uncooperative, then you may have take the case to court. What happens if you’ve already been to court, and you’re ex is not the following the order? It may be better that you talk to your children about the situation. Remember to keep the conversation age-appropriate as much as you can and try to explain that the breakup was a hard on every one, and sometimes adult handle it differently. Try to compensate by providing all the love and attention you can shower on your children. They will learn too soon for themselves where the function lies without you having to say one bad word about your ex.

Source: Amber J. Cabrera

Inspiration from: Using Divorce Mediation : Save your money & your sanity / by Katherine E. Stoner.
Berkeley, Calif. : Nolo Press, c1999.
http://www.nolo.com/law-authors/katherine-stoner.html


People also view

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *