Caring for the Caregiver

I know about this from personal experience; both what I’ve done and what I’ve seen others do. Caring for someone who can’t care for him or herself isn’t easy. Knowing that in advance can help you help the helper.

Exhaustion: Caring for someone 24/7/365 is exhausting. Even sleep doesn’t do the job; you have to sleep with one ear open, and that does not allow much deep sleep. It doesn’t take long before the caregiver is extremely tired.

Getting Away: Many caregivers feel that they can’t leave the person alone for any length of time, and that is probably true. However, that’s not good for the caregiver. It can set up several psychiatric problems including depression and Martyr Syndrome.

Promoting self care: When the person being cared for is a spouse or child, it’s easy for the caregiver to forget to take care of him or herself. Showering, eating and other needed daily functions are forgotten in dealing with what’s unfolding.

These are but a few of the problems that can happen when there is a sole caregiver. They don’t have to happen, but that’s going to take information, cooperation and help. In some cases, that help may be from outside the family. Here are a few things to consider if you are currently dealing with this problem or if you want to prepare for it in advance.

Family: If you are dealing with an elderly relative, get the whole family involved. Have other family members come in for scheduled time periods so that the primary caregiver can have a break, run errands or just take a nap.

Community: Not everyone has family close enough together to help out. If that’s the case, reach out. Churches and other houses of worship are a good resource. You may also want to check out adult daycare and senior centers to find the help you need.

Hospice: If the doctor tells you that there is nothing left he or she can do, it’s time to call hospice. This can be done for up to six months. Hospice workers will explain to you what is going on, help provide respite care and be there with you when the time comes.

They will help you make the necessary arrangements, and offer counseling if you or another family member needs it. They can also provide patient advocacy if there is a problem in the medical care needed.

We really need to reach out to those who are taking care of an ill family member. It’s a hard, exhausting and often very sad time, but with help it can be gotten through. These people are already heroes in my book, let’s give them a hand.


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