When you believe that you are in a loving and mutually committed relationship, it is devastating to discover you are only being used. It breaks your heart and damages your self esteem. Unfortunately, there are many cruel and selfish people in this world that enter into friendships and relationships only to satisfy their own selfish desires and goals.
Manipulators and users seek others out for money, sexual purposes, emotional support or they are simply looking for a “meal ticket.” If it is to their advantage, they may seek to occupy and control your life. Con artists are men or women who lie, cheat and manipulate others into doing their bidding. They make their living through deception, taking advantage of other people’s weaknesses. A con man (or woman) can be charming, gracious, mannered, attractive and sexy while perfecting a con with a total lack of conscience or a modicum of sincerity. A crafty con artist can convince you that you are the love of his or her life, the answers to their prayers and that they love you from the bottom of their soul.
When we start to get those little “vibes” that tell us we are being taken advantage of, it is easy to put on emotional “blinders” and follow a course of denial rather than confrontation. We don’t want to admit, even to ourselves, that we could be so vulnerable, needy, gullible or stupid to fall victim to a lover’s devious ploys. If you suspect that you are being used or taken advantage of, it is time to pay attention to your partner’s words and actions. If you are being used, put a stop to it immediately.
If you find yourself constantly picking up the tab for dates or entertainment or lending money to your partner that is never repaid, its time to take a good hard look at what is going on. We all need a little help now and then, but if borrowing money has become a frequent request, there has to be a limit to your generosity. Listen to your lover’s tale of woe, just employ “compassion without action.” If you stop the money out-flow, and the relationship wanes, just be glad to severed the friendship before you went broke.
If you and your lover mainly just have sex, your relationship leaves much to be desired. No matter how satisfying and sensational the sexual interaction may be between you and another person, a relationship built on sex alone can never last. You should be going out on dates, interacting with other couples and learning to intimately connect on other levels. If your dates simply consist of drinks, conversation and sexual intercourse, its obvious you are being used.
Do not harden your heart to every new relationship, but be sure to exercise caution before you give your self and the pin number of your credit card to a master manipulator.