America is Waiting for Something to Happen

Well, here we are. January. America – Bored With Itself.

Work is now Work, again. But hey, we still have the NFL [keyword Tebow] for a few more weeks. Then what the hell are we going to do? Watch some TV? Are the shows still on rerun? Who made that decision? Some One-Percent Fat Cat who thinks Americans should be deprived of new shows just because HE is busy running around to his Hollywood parties, opening up expensive presents, drinking fancy drinks. The rest of us aren’t doing anything. In fact, the past month would have been a good time to show new shows. We were more relaxed. Not thinking about getting fired and we would’ve been more receptive to buying stuff. Now we’re back at work, all stressed out with no money. Show us some commercials now, idiot.

The news is on. The news is always on. Bunch of reporters Waiting for Something to Happen. SOMETHING BIG. Then we’ll watch their so-called newscasts. Because when THAT happens, we Americans Have to Know what’s going on. Problem is: THAT is getting tougher to be interesting, fascinating, attention-grabbing, you know, remarkable! The other stuff in the news is, in a word, uninteresting, dull, tedious, tiresome. I guess that is more than one word. Anyway, there are THINGS GOING ON. For example:

Earthquake off the coast of Sumatra. Did a lot of people die? No? Where is Sumatra? Hope it’s not near San Francisco – big game coming up. I kind of like Sumatra but Italian Roast is better. Unless I am having a bad day, then Espresso Roast or even a HammerHead (Espresso shot in coffee). Mmmm. Espresso. Why are the lines so long at Starbucks? They have two cash registers but most of the time they use only one. Lotsa “Baristas” but most of them are not interested in your addiction and how you need that heavenly cup of battery acid RIGHT NOW.

South Carolina Primary. Really? People find this interesting? How come there are still so many of them? All talking about REAL BIG ISSUES. Well, I’ve got some news for them: we don’t care. Well, we do care but caring a lot requires work to be informed on these REAL BIG ISSUES and this is time that we just don’t have. We plan on making our minds up based on how each of the candidates looks. And some of the candidates are funny-looking so I try to imagine voting for someone who looks like that. Maybe I just won’t vote next year; that’ll show ‘em.

Father of Missing Maine Girl Takes Polygraph. Now you’re talking. This has potential to be interesting. Well may be. Have to feel sorry for her parents – unless they did it. Sometimes you can tell. While they are crying it looks faked and you know they did it. Anyway, is this close to here? Maine is one of those states that might as well be in Canada. But I like lobsters, especially with hot butter. Mmmm, hot butter. Red Lobster used to suck but now I hear that it’s pretty good.

Well, have to go. Might be something on TV.


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