You grow up in a family Mother, Father, siblings. Now it could also be Mother only, or Father only, but look at your life now, and the age that you are currently. Think about it, are you where You wanted to be? Is the career path, family life, friends, and so on where you thought you would be when you trying to decide that you no longer needed your parents at I don’t know 12 years old. You know that whole, “I know, I know” phase. If you answer No to any of these questions then you start to look around and wonder why? do you get upset? do you get depressed? or will you have a glass of wine? I really prefer the last one myself. I can honestly say my life is NO where near where I had expected it to be, but growing and having people tell you what you should be, or what you should study in college to make them proud I started to wonder when do I begin making myself happy for my life? I have always wondered that, I mean with so many failed relationships with men, rough relationship with my family, and the loss of who I really am. I have gotten to the point of not really knowing what makes me happy at all. I guess my dream life would be to finally graduate from college, meet the right guy, fall madly in love with him just as he would with me, he works (obviously, I will NOT go down that road again) and has a great job making great pay, I don’t have to work that hard, a job still is good just not anything that requires me to have two jobs. I totally get that this is a total pipe dream, and there is no such thing, but hey a girl has to still have dreams.
If you have reached your ideal life, career, relationships and things like that then Great for You!! Just do me a favor, STOP boasting about it!!! I mean there are people out there who have the hardest time trying to figure out what they want to do, how they want to do it, and really how to get there too; you can honestly make them feel as though they are worthless individuals. You may have your life put together just the way you wanted it to be, but look at yourself and think, “Is there anything missing?” dig deep in the darkest part of your life. I can honestly ask you this question, once you finally reached your place of full fillment what did you have to do to get there? Did you stay on the straight and narrow? Did you have to rob peter to pay paul on some bills to get to happiness? I am just wondering how you did it, how long has it taken you to get there? I mean where do you find your inner peace from the world, your sense of happiness. These are not bad questions, they are just questions. Are you madly in love with another person that makes your heart jump out of your chest when you look their way, can the two of you sit quietly in a room and not say a word and yet know what each other is saying by just a glance? This is something I would really love to know, relationships and life are hard work no handbook was handed out for you to read and study from it making sure you are doing all you can to make everything better and give you a happier life.
In your wonderful life, is your love life what you expected it to be? Are you with the right person, or how many times did it take you to get there? When you find the right significant other its a complete miracle because that means you found the right one that you were ment for, but then again how many relationships did it take for you to meet the right one, there is no such thing as love at first sight, unless you know for sure what that is and really what it means. Do you have kids? How many, is the father around? If he is, you are the lucky one, but if not then you single mothers have the hardest road in your life, just don’t take advantage of things, people, your kids, and the system if you have to rely on it. I mean the worst thing you can do in your life is use it as a weapon towards others because you honestly never know if that person has possibly experianced it in their own life. Then you know how to make sure your kids will grow up happy, healthy, and normal (what ever that really means, if you know it please explain it to me).
From what I have written take a step back, look at your life and think is it where I expected it to be? Am I where I was ment to be? If you can answer those and be happy with the outcome then you have it all figured out, but if your like me and question just about everything and you wonder if you are making the right choices daily then yeah, your going to be questioning every little detail for the rest of your natural life, its just how we are made, but if you still question everything and yet find happiness in the mean time with a little bit of peace of mind then good for you, and may things only get better.