Chris: After vomiting in a Ben Cooper Halloween costume of Snoopy when I was 3 years old, I have done my best to avoid questionable neighborhoods. Seeing as how the Oakland Raiders constantly have salary cap issues, their players must have an endless supply of yen.
Joe: The Raiders are the epitome of Halloween.
Brad: Because their helmets look like Halloween costume masks.
Joe: Usually their antics are on the field, but now that they have a reasonable team, we can concentrate on their lunatic fans in spiked costumes with painted faces and really funny names.
Chris: Plus, anyone who has seen “A Garfield Halloween” knows how traumatizing an effect pirates and raiders can have on Halloween revelers.
Joe: I went trick or treating at John Madden’s (former coach) house, and all I got was an old turkey leg.
Chris: I went trick or treating at Darren McFadden’s house and got a mini Snickers from a McBoo pail.
Brad: I went trick or treating at Marcel Reece’s house and got his cleats.
Ralphie: I went trick or treating at Marcel Reece’s house and got a giant Reese’s cup.
Joe: I went trick or treating at Susie Sanchez’s (Oakland’s grandmother cheerleader) house and got a Google full of eye candy.
Chris: I went trick or treating at Jason Campbell’s house and got a copy of his MRI.
Brad: I went trick or treating at Jason Campbell’s house and got neck brace.
Ralphie: I went trick or treating at Jason Campbell’s house and got gold doubloons.
Joe: I went trick or treating at Al Davis’ (recently deceased owner) house and got a teeth-whitening kit.
Chris: I went trick or treating at Rock Cartwright’s house and got a rock. I heard Charlie Brown also visited that house.
Brad: I went trick or treating at Dave Rayner’s house and got his kicking football.
Ralphie: I went trick or treating at Michael Bush’s house a got a can of Bush’s baked beans.
Joe: I went trick or treating at Carson Palmer’s apartment (he won’t be there long enough to get a house) and got a copy of his one-page playbook.
Chris: I went trick or treating at Carson Palmer’s house and got two first-round draft picks.
Brad: I went trick or treating at Carson Palmer’s house and got a replacement.
Ralphie: I went trick or treating at Coach Hue Jackson’s house and got Raider football cards.
Joe: I went trick or treating at Toozak’s (Oakland Raider Halloween dressed fan) house and got an armor suit to attend the next game and tickets to KISS.
Chris: I went trick or treating at Richard Seymour’s house and got a half-eaten Mr. Goodbar.
Brad: I went trick or treating at JaMarcus’s house and got nothing.
Ralphie: I went trick or treating at Sebastian Janikowski’s house and got kicked out.