Due to recent bouts in the economy and his recent downgrade with a role in the forthcoming movie “Gotti”, Joe Pesci has reinvented himself as a formidable scribe in the world of childrens books. However, a recent meeting with his publisher has addressed some issues that might prove an impediment in this competitive market. These are the transcripts from that meeting:
=Empty Suit: “Good morning Mr. Pesci. Thats a terrific tie on you sir.”
=Joe: “Yeah, yeah. Get to it pal. I ain’t got all day here.”
=Empty Suit: “Sorry sir. Yes well, it seems there are a couple of, shall we say, thorns in the briar patch, that need to be weeded out before we can push forward with your manuscript.”
=Joe: “Oh yeah? Whats da’ problem than?”
=Empty Suit: “Well…theres a slight issue with Chapter 6 where the bunny rabbit happens upon the hare and jabs a carrot stick in his ear 27 times for taking stuff out of his rabbit hole. That might come across as a little crass to an 8 year old being read your book.”
=Joe: “Crass? Whadya’ talkin’ about? What about that can’t an 8 year old relate to? When I was 8 years old I had to beat down 3 kids at once everyday for tryin’ to steal my peanut butter and gelato sandwich. These are valuable lessons for life. Not only is he learning good business skills, but his math is sharpened by keeping track of the 27 jabs.”
=Empty Suit: “Yes…well..”
=Joe: “Good we agree. Next issue.”
=Empty Suit: “Okay sir. I’m afraid we cannot overlook the problem toward the end of the book where Country Joe McDonald has a dream where he wakes up with the head of Mr. Ed in his bed….”
=Joe: “You see how that rhymed? Poetry…we’re teaching abstract thinking skills…”
=Empty Suit: “Mr. Pesci, I’m afraid…”
=Joe: “Sorry pal, time is up. I’ve gotta’ have brunch with my lawyer. Thanks a million buddy. Lets see if we can’t get this book to all da’ yutes by next week. See ‘ya!”