This particular day beats any day you might celebrate on your dear calendar. ‘What’, you might say, ‘even anniversaries, Christmas, Easter and birthdays’. ‘Yep’. No way. I bet you are wondering what is so special about this day, and it happens fairly frequently as well, then again, some might say it does not happen enough, ‘some more please’. What is it? ‘Payday’ . ‘Yes I knew this day would come, bloddy revolution where we can stick it to ‘em; those politicians, that annoying next door neighbour, our poo-happy dogs and cats.’ Actually it’s just your pay packet you get each week, or fortnight, or month; you know, from your employer or your own shady set-up of a business.
Doesn’t it feel great. Rich or poor, we all get some form of that moolah and boy can’t we wait until that special day comes around. It’s like it is party-time – ‘Honey, I’m home. I got paid today, let’s celebrate.’ But the thing is, you work long and hard to get it (for most of us), and the damn thing, I’m talking about your pay here, goes quickly – ‘please come back, I miss you so much’. ‘You know you want me’ (yes your pay-packet has a voice; well I’m allowed to I’m telling the joke here).
What about those workers addicted to their pay-packets, and yes they should have ‘payday shrinks’ for this sort of stuff. They’ll blow all the money in one day and go through withdrawals for the other days until the next, yep, you guessed, payday to come around again. Imagine trying to explain to your wife you went silly-billy and had another affair with your beloved pay-packet – ‘Hun your home. You know what day it is today, ooooo. Can I, just see it, for a little while, pleaaaaase (another silly-billy).’ ‘Um, yeah, ha, well….’ ‘In one day, I can’t believe it, you idiot. You know I love it (the pay) as well.’ ‘oh you love it to do you. Well I love it more’. ‘Not as much as I do’. ‘Well pay and I bought you some…flowers, it was pays idea, but I thought it sounded great.’ ‘O o, thanks pay, thanks hun. I don’t now what I’d do without you two’.
How does it feel when the wife or hubby has your wallet, with pay in there as well. Doesn’t it just send shivers down your spine, as does those dreaded words, ‘I’m just going out for a little while, I’ll be home soon.’ Oh no, there goes the pay. One hour later, two hours later…. ‘where are they?’ Next minute you see things popping up in the house here and there you’ve never seen before, ‘Honey, where did this come from?’. Quick, off to the bank balance (no not the Bat-mobile).
Whatever you do, don’t go on welfare payments; what a teaaaase. Waiting, waiting…looking, looking. Nope, the pay still has not come in. Yeah, you just got it yesterday. Only 13 days (two weeks) to go. And what about the dole-queue, that is a real teaaaaase. The time it takes to be served, it’s like a competition who is going to pop-and-drop next. And everyone in the queue is quiet with anticipation, why, because ‘pay’ is coming to town. And believe me, you really want and love that pay-packet when it arrives, like a celebrity in a luxury limousine walking down the red carpet, ‘look, look, it’s pay, it’s pay’. ‘Yes, yes, thank you thank you (yes your pay-packet has a voice, I’m telling the joke here).