Kids wanting to behave might sound like the impossible dream. It’s not. In fact, if you know a few tricks, it’s more than possible. It’s probable. Giving kids inspiration to obey the rules isn’t as hard as it sounds. For one thing, kids really do want to please their parents. You just have to give them encouragement to do so.
1. Start with a compliment. You know that saying about catching more flies with honey than vinegar? It’s absolutely true. If you have a problem with your kids behavior, talk about the good stuff first. For instance, you might say, “Wow, I love how you’re always the first one to pick up the toys at school. That makes me so proud. Can you do that at home for me? It would be a great help.”
2. Make chores fit your kids interests. There will be some chores, no one likes to do. In our house, the dishes are it. When it comes to dishes or other mundane tasks, we take turns. Some jobs might appeal to your kids. Let them choose their favorites before assigning the less appealing ones. Your kids will volunteer for chores that suit their personalities. For instance, once my kids learned to cook, they fought over who got to cook dinner. All I had to do was relax and wait for it to be ready.
3. Let kids choose their own chores. Make a list of what needs to be done. Let them cross them off one at a time until all the jobs are done. They’ll get a sense of accomplishment when the list is complete and with each task they cross off on the way. Start this practice young for the best results. If you do this consistently, they may even learn on their own to do the jobs they dislike first. A lesson is better learned by doing, not by lecture.
4. Forget time-outs, call it break time. When things get overwhelming, many parents put their kids in time out. Instead, why not call it what it is? When kids get angry, upset, confused or just plain ornery, they need to be separated from the situation while they calm down. Set up a break area where they can go to get a handle on their feelings. Let them know they are welcome to join the rest of the family when they’ve calmed down. Until then, they’re on break.
5. Lose the dictatorship. Make it a partnership. Kids are more likely to obey the rules if they have a hand in making them. Sit down once a week with the whole family. Discuss what’s working and what’s not. Decide what changes will be made together. Implement your kids ideas occasionally, even if you know they won’t work. Let them see any problems for themselves. You only have to suffer through a bad idea until the next meeting. It’s a small price to pay for having them want to behave.
More from Jaipi:
Tweens still love to learn: Don’t wait to educate
Good parenting takes time: Don’t expect instant results
Helping tweens develop a good work ethic