You’d think that all the stories of rock n’ roll are solely filled with good times, but in fact, the life of a traveler with touring acts is actually quite mundane, and sometimes, it’s flat out awful.
I used to seal t-shirts for the All-American Rejects back in the day, and the side project of their drummer and guitarist, These Enzymes. We played festivals, traveled around the country and all those legendary stories rock n’ roll is supposed to tell us. But, my worst trip ever involved a midnight jaunt from Asbusry Park, NJ to Oklahoma City, OK.
After three days of partying, sleeping on the floor of a van, failed shower attempts, it was time to return our van after These Enzymes brief, but successful tour. By this point in the tour, various members had been dropped off with friends, or dropped off at home, so the van was down to four guys from Oklahoma. Unfortunately, one member didn’t have a driver’s license, and the drummer wasn’t a successful driver in a van, so the driving opportunities were down to myself and Mike, the guitar player.
We probably left around 9 PM, with Mike and I assuming controls, driving through the darkness into Pennsylvania, onto Ohio. But, we were exhausted, and no amount of music could keep our eyelids from closing. So, we opted to wake up Chris, in hopes that he could handle the early morning shift. But, not minutes after our eyes closed, we heard a loud thump beneath the van as the entire vehicle swerved off the road; this was exactly what we were trying to avoid. Chris had managed to drive over a tire. Thus, he lost his driving privileges, forcing Mike and I to share duties yet again.
Almost 24 hours later, we arrived, exhausted, mentally and physically. I can easily say this was the word road trip I’d been on, proving that rock n’ roll isn’t all its cracked up to be.